Looking over my progress this last month, I see what I expected to see. I waited to tally the days because I knew I did not meet my goal. I’ve been afraid to admit this and that is in part what has kept me from posting. After listening to a good sermon this morning, I finally talked some sense into myself. Well, God talked some sense into me and I just listened…
When I started this war against my ttm I knew it would be hard and I knew there would be ups and downs. I need to stay focused on progress not perfection. Although this past month was not perfect or better than the month before (which was my goal), it was still much better than any other month in at least a year. I have to keep that in perspective.
Now I am not a fan of excuses, so I hope that not how this next sections comes across. There are some factors that contributed to my ‘less successful month’. From a research standpoint, I think it is important to consider all of the variables.
I learned that I was pregnant in September. It was a big surprise as my husband and I thought our family was complete. I had my tubes blocked using Essure in February and was assured by 3 doctors and a CT scan that I could no longer have children.
Although shocked, I quickly embraced this precious baby. I know God allowed this pregnancy for a reason and am thankful for this blessing. I do not understand, but I am trusting God.
After learning that I was pregnant, I stopped taking all of my prescription medications for depression. I also lowered the amount of NAC and inositol as recommended by my OB. By the end of September I had to stop taking all of my supplements and extra vitamins I had been using to help fights my urges. I simply couldn’t stomach them with the intensity of my morning sickness.
The urge to pull my hair returned about a week after I lowered my dose of inositol and NAC. The urge has intensified since completely stopping these supplements.
Overall, my urge is still more manageable . I think this is in part due to the John Kender diet I am still following. I notice a direct correlation in increased urge if I eat anything I shouldn’t. So I am trying to stick to the diet, but its hard because there is so little I can eat without feeling sick. Also these hormone really do cause cravings. I should start to feel better from the morning sickness soon (if this pregnancy is like my last 3). Once I feel well enough I am going to begin inositol again.