July has been a rough month for me with few good days and no pull free days until yesterday. When I go a long time without any good days I start to feel overwhelmed like the trich monster is taking over. I worry that my progress is going to be ruined and I’ll be left worse off than ever. It’s especially discouraging because I was using all my strategies that had been helping they don’t seem to be helping anymore.
Through it all I tried to stay positive and remind myself to be consistent. Logically I know the really bad times always end and it is followed by a period of less or no pulling. My life is a roller coaster of ups and downs influenced by my pulling and cycles of depression and mania caused by my bipolar disorder.
The progress is just as much about attitude as the actual amount of pulling. My outlook is way better, but I still have times when I get down on myself. Its a process and I’m relying on God to strengthen my spirit and to keep my eyes on what really matters. At the end of my life am I going think back and wish I hadn’t pulled or look back on how I lived and loved those close to me. I hope to live a life that reflects God’s love and gives hope to others. I want to make a difference in the lives of those around me. I am blessed with a wonderful family and that is what matters most, not how much hair I do or don’t have.