Wow, great post. I really identify with these feelings. I am a girl, but regardless this sounds like my life at those respective ages ( I am 28 now). I still don’t know what I want to be when I ‘grow up’. I would love to write a book about my experiences with trich and bipolar disorder.
I often wallow in the unmotivated laziness of bipolar depression. Occasionally, I have a hypomanic few weeks where I suddenly have the energy to do all the things I have put off. Currently my hypomania went a bit too far because of lack of sleep. I went full-blown manic and now I need to go back on meds. My family gets so freaked out when I am like this. I actually prefer it to my general feeling of malaise. I realize it is unwise to allow myself to become even further pulled into the mania. I am using all the tools I have besides medication to level out.
I went off my mood stabilizers about 3 years ago to have two babies (my boy is 2.5 and my girl is almost 1).It took forever to get in with a new psychiatrist because they were all booked. I finally have an appointment on Monday.
Sorry to ramble, but it’s so rare I feel like someone really understands my struggle. Thanks for sharing. Oh and it does getter better! Sorry I forgot to say that earlier. Generally I am more level, this is a rare extreme following postpartum depression without meds…
You are a great writer!! 🙂