Books

My Favorite Trich Books

The Perfect Pull

Fifteen-year-old Alyssa Simone has a secret, but common, disorder that causes her to pull out her hair: trichotillomania. Since the fourth grade Alyssa has been compulsively pulling her hair and wondering why she can’t stop. Now a sophomore in high school, she is doing everything she can to try and appear normal. She attempts to blend in at a new high school while her mother, a Barbie doll look-alike thanks to plastic surgery, signs the two of them up to star on a reality show and the cameras are rolling. As if that were not enough, Alyssa worries she might never receive her first kiss while her popular and beautiful best friend constantly texts her updates of her numerous romantic conquests.

It is estimated that 2-4% of the American population is living with trichotillomania. Because so many cases go unreported, the numbers may be much higher. Living with trichotillomania can lead to feelings of shame, depression and anxiety. Some living with the disorder feel so much shame it leads to isolation. Many go to great lengths to hide a truth they feel ashamed of: They are pulling their hair. Some will not get treatment for fear of being judged and want to avoid feelings of embarrassment. It’s time to let go of these feelings of shame. It’s time to release the worry of what others will think and say. It’s time to embrace the beauty that each and every one of us possesses. Let’s believe we are beautiful – because every single one of us are. 15 contributors from around the world openly share their personal journeys. We’re making profound discoveries together: There is hope. We are not broken. We are not alone. Read on, and find the next chapter of your story…

Most Informative

Trichotillomania, one of the family of obsessive-compulsive disorders, may afflict as many as 6 to 8 million people in the United States. Now, a leading authority on obsessive-compulsive disorders, Dr. Fred Penzel, has written the most up-to-date, comprehensive, and authoritative guide to this syndrome available, filled with reassuring advice for patients and their families.
Endorsed by the Trichotillomania Learning Center, the leading advocate group for this disorder, this superb handbook includes all the information a patient or relative would need to understand this illness and to cope with it. Penzel provides a detailed discussion of causes and he reviews all the treatment options, describing the most effective medications and their side effects as well as the recommended cognitive and behavioral treatments. He shows patients how to design a self-help program and gain control of their compulsive behavior, how to prevent relapse, describes trichotillomania and its treatment in children, and suggests coping strategies for families at home and in public situations. He also provides a guide to all the resources available, including internet sites, recommended books, and videos, and outlines ways to start a support group. The appendix will include questionnaires, clinical rating scales, and the official DSM diagnostic criteria for the disorder, so readers can decide if they need to seek behavioral and possibly medical treatment.
Dr. Penzel has helped patients with OCD and trichotillomania for over twenty years and is one of America’s leading authorities on these disorders. Drawing on decades of hands-on experience, he has produced the most complete and scientifically accurate handbook available on this disorder, a comforting guide packed with information to help people with trichotillomania get well and stay well.

Shows young people how to break their hair pulling habit by identifying trigger situations, developing resistance strategies, charting progress, modifying environments, motivating themselves, and staying with the program. Advice for therapists and parents, too.

*I used this book growing up and learned many helpful strategies.

If you suffer from trichotillomania, this book is written for you, your family and loved ones, and the professionals who you might seek out to help you overcome your condition. Written by one of the leading experts in the field, the book reviews the latest medications and treatment options and offers simple and effective cognitive-behavioral techniques for controlling hair-pulling. You’ll learn that you are not alone in dealing with this condition. Find out about symptoms and behaviors and other problems associated with trichotillomania, and learn how you can motivate yourself to change. The book explains how families and friends can help you and what you can do to reach out to the growing support community that exists on the Web and within national and local consumer organizations.

This book has been awarded The Association for Behavioral and Cognitive Therapies Self-Help Seal of Merit — an award bestowed on outstanding self-help books that are consistent with cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) principles and that incorporate scientifically tested strategies for overcoming mental health difficulties. Used alone or in conjunction with therapy, our books offer powerful tools readers can use to jump-start changes in their lives.

DB2C9129-5BA0-4DEB-A7FE-036B263309E9

Therapy Approach Therapist Guide (Treatments That Work)

By Douglas W Woods, Michael P Twohig:

DB2C9129-5BA0-4DEB-A7FE-036B263309E9.jpeg

Amazon Product Description
Trichotillomania (TTM) is a complex disorder that is difficult to treat as few effective therapeutic options exist. Behavior therapy has the greatest empirical support, but the number of mental health providers familiar with TTM and its treatment is quite small. This manual was written as a tool for therapists to become familiar with an effective treatment for TTM. The treatment approach described in this guide blends traditional behavior therapy elements of habit reversal training and stimulus control techniques with the more contemporary behavioral elements of Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT).

Unlike traditional interventions that aim to change type or frequency of pulling-related cognitions in the hopes of reducing urges to pull hair, this innovative program uses strategies to change the function of these cognitions. Clients are taught to see urges for what they really are and to accept their pulling-related thoughts, feelings, and urges without fighting against them. This is accomplished through discussions about the function of language and defusion exercises that show the client how to respond to thoughts about pulling less literally. Over the course of 10 weeks, clients learn to be aware of their pulling and warning signals, use self-management strategies for stopping and preventing pulling, stop fighting against their pulling-related urges and thoughts, and work toward increasing their quality of life. Self-monitoring and homework assignments keep clients motivated and engaged throughout. Designed to be used with older adolescents and adults, this innovative intervention has proven efficacy and is sure to be a powerful tool for the clinician who treats TTM.

Best Self Help Books

feeling good

This book explains Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) in a very simple an easy to read fashion. It was the first Burns book (he has several), and so doesn’t contain all the exercises that he developed later. These techniques work. When incorporated correctly and diligently followed, I believe anyone can benefit from these concepts.  CBT is quite simple really. Your moods are created by your thoughts and how you view your world. Change the thoughts and your are on your way to managing your moods. CBT is the leading technique in treating depression and trichotillomania today.

Julia Ross offers a prescriptive plan designed to relieve a variety of ailments from seasonal disorders, stress, irritability and depression. Ross believes that many of these annoying and, in some cases, severely disabling disorders can be relieved through a change in diet and nutritional supplements. Readers are asked to first determine which of four “false moods” they suffer from: a dark cloud, blahs, stress or too much sensitivity. The survey is simple and the questions will immediately resonate with readers: for example, someone who is suffering from the blahs is likely to have difficulty focusing or require a great deal of sleep. Armed with their survey scores, readers can then turn to the appropriate chapter to learn which diets and supplements will be most helpful.Particularly reassuring are the author’s detailed explanations of why she advises a particular strategy. While Ross is an advocate for nutritional supplements, she provides a sound overview for all her recommendations.

*I have followed the recommendations in this book and now use amino acids in place of SSRI’s for my depression and anxiety.

What will you do when the unthinkable happens in your life?
Her parents called her Lenya Lion because of her ferocious personality and hair that had been wild and mane-like since birth. But they never expected that, five days before Christmas, their five-year-old daughter would suddenly go to heaven after an asthma attack. How do you walk out of an emergency room without your daughter?

Part memoir but all overtly instructive and deeply inspirational, 
  • Don’t rely on the naked eye
  • Run towards the roar
  • There’s no such thing as a wireless anchor
  • Let God use your pain
  • Cue the eagle

What we do in life really does echo in eternity. You are destined for impact, and there’s not a moment to lose!

Review

‘…he has this story. And he has told it well. With candor. With honesty. With hope.’ 
-Max Lucado Pastor and New York Times bestselling author 

‘This is one of the most powerfully transparent books I have ever read.’ 
-Sheila Walsh, Speaker, Bible teacher, and bestselling author 

‘This is a book that will help everybody, in every walk of life.’ 
-Carl Lentz, Pastor, Hillsong NYC 

‘Levi has framed up some practical thoughts and shares some experiences that can help us not only to cope with the pain of loss but to… thrive as a result.’ 
– Bob Hurley, Chairman and founder, Hurley LLC About the Author

Levi Lusko is the pastor of Fresh Life Church, a multisite church in Montana, and the founder of Skull Church and the O2 Experience. He serves as host for Greg Laurie’s Harvest Crusades and travels internationally to speak at churches and conferences. He takes pleasure in small things like: black coffee, new shoes, and fast internet. He and his wife, Jennie, have four daughters, Alivia, Daisy, Clover, and Lenya, who is in heaven.

Worry, doubt, confusion, depression, anger and feelings of condemnation: all these are attacks on the mind. If readers suffer from negative thoughts, they can take heart! Joyce Meyer has helped millions win these all-important battles. In her most popular bestseller ever, the beloved author and minister shows readers how to change their lives by changing their minds.

She teaches how to deal with thousands of thoughts that people think every day and how to focus the mind the way God thinks. And she shares the trials, tragedies, and ultimate victories from her own marriage, family, and ministry that led her to wondrous, life-transforming truth–and reveals her thoughts and feelings every step of the way.

This special updated edition includes an additional introduction and updated content throughout the book.

About the Author

Joyce Meyer is one of the world’s leading practical Bible teachers, with her TV and radio broadcast, Enjoying Everyday Life, airing on nearly 450 television networks and 400 radio stations worldwide, including ABC Family Channel, Trinity Broadcast Network, Daystar, and the Word Network. 
Her bestselling books include Battlefield of the Mind, Look Great, Feel Great, The Confident Woman, I Dare You, and Never Give Up! 
Joyce holds conferences approximately 15 times each year, worldwide, speaking to thousands. 

Joyce Meyer has a knack for coining phrases-her fans call themJoyceisms-and one of her best loved is “Where the mind goes, the man follows.” This was the basis forBattlefield of the Mind, and in her latest book, Meyer provides “power thoughts,” bringing the reader to a new level of ability to use the mind as a tool to achievement. 
In POWER THOUGHTS, she outlines a flexible program to turn thoughts into habits, and habits into success. Sections include: 

· The Power of a Positive You 

· 5 Rules for Keeping Your Attitude at the Right Altitude 

· More Power To You bulleted keys to successful thinking in each chapter 

· The Power of Perspective 

Nobody has more of a “can-do” attitude than Joyce Meyer. Now you can, too.

About the Author

Joyce Meyer is one of the world’s leading practical Bible teachers, with her TV and radio broadcast, Enjoying Everyday Life, airing on nearly 450 television networks and 400 radio stations worldwide, including ABC Family Channel, Trinity Broadcast Network, Daystar, and the Word Network. 
Her bestselling books include Living Beyond Your Feelings, Power Thoughts, Battlefield of the Mind,Look Great, Feel Great, The Confident Woman, I Dare You, and Never Give Up! 
Joyce holds conferences approximately 15 times each year, worldwide, speaking to thousands

boundaries, how to set boundaries, how to say no, healthy boundaries

Expanded and Updated for the Digital Age

The number one thing about boundaries: you cannot force someone else to establish them. You can only establish them for yourself. However, by doing so, you will change your life.

Originally published nearly 30 years ago, this perennial best-seller has gone on to change over 2 million lives.

This version of Boundaries is the catch-all. It briefly dives into boundaries with spouses, children, and work. For further information on specific topics, check out our titles below.

The Boundaries Family Collection

how to set boundaries in dating, boundaries with your boyfriend, healthy christian dating

Boundaries in Dating

Between singleness and marriage lies the journey of dating. Want a smoother journey? Set and maintain healthy boundaries. If many of your dating experiences have been difficult, this could revolutionize the way you handle relationships. Even if you’re doing well, the these insights can help you fine-tune important areas of your dating life.

how to say no to your husband, repair your marriage, set boundaries with your partner

Boundaries in Marriage

Only when you and your mate know and respect each other’s needs, choices, and freedom can you give yourselves lovingly to one another. This book helps you understand the friction points or serious hurts in your marriage, and move beyond them to the mutual care, respect, and intimacy you both long for.

how to say no to your kid, setting boundaries with children, discipling children

Boundaries with Kids

You can say no to your child and still be a loving parent.

Child-rearing can be a struggle, but healthy boundaries are the bedrock of good relationships, maturity, safety, and growth for children and adults.

how to parent a teenager, boundaries with teens, limits with teens

Boundaries with Teens

The teen years: relationships, peer pressure, school, dating, character. To help teenagers grow into healthy adults, parents and youth workers need to teach them how to take responsibility for their behavior, their values, and their lives.

The Human Magnet Syndrome: The Codependent Narcissist Trap is a complete rewrite of Ross’s first book. Not only is the book re-written, re-organized, updated and expanded, it contains over 125 more pages than the original. Ross provides a more explicit rendering of The Human Magnet Syndrome, that includes new theories, explanations and concepts. The information on Gaslighting and The Narcissistic Abuse Syndrome, like the rest of the book, is cutting edge and completely original. This book contains many more case examples and stories of Ross’s own codependency recovery. Like its predecessor, it is written for both the layman and professional. Men and women have been magnetically and irresistibly drawn together into romantic relationships, not so much by what they see, feel and think, but more by invisible forces. Codependents and Pathological Narcissists are enveloped in a seductive dreamlike state; however, it will later unfold into a painful “seesaw” of love, pain, hope and disappointment. The soul mate of the codependent’s dreams will become the narcissist of their nightmares. Readers of the Human Magnet Syndrome will better understand why they, despite their dreams for true love, find themselves hopelessly and painfully in love with partners who hurt them. This book will guide and inspire both the layman and the professional.

About the Author

Ross Rosenberg is a psychotherapist, international speaker, author, and professional trainer, considered an expert in the fields of codependency, narcissism, gaslighting, and sex addiction. He owns Clinical Care Consultants, a multi-location Chicago suburb counseling center, and the Self-Love Recovery Institute, an educational company promoting personal and professional development. Ross’s trainings, which feature his original work, have been presented in 30 states and twice in Europe. Ross is regularly featured on national TV and radio and also blogs/writes for prominent online publications. Thanks to 8.5 million video views and 80,000 subscribers, Ross’s YouTube videos inform and inspire a global audience interested in codependency recovery and narcissistic abuse. Ross’s Human Magnet Syndrome book (2013) sold over 60,000 copies and has been translated into Spanish, French and soon Czech. His latest “Codependency Cure™” work, like The Human Magnet Syndrome, breaks new ground in the mental health fields. The Codependency Cure reformulates, redefines, and ultimately renames “codependency” to “Self-Love Deficit Disorder™.” Other original theories/concepts, like the “Relationship Compatibility Theory,” “The Ten Stage SLDD Recovery Model,” “The Observe Don’t Absorb Technique,” and many others, have reshaped what we know about codependency, codependency recovery, narcissism, dysfunctional relationships, and narcissistic abuse.

As featured on the Jesus Calling podcast, Relevant podcast, Catalyst podcast, and The Alli Worthington Show podcast with Alli Worthington.

“I want to believe, I want to have hope, but . . .” Pastor and bestselling author Craig Groeschel hears these words often and has asked them himself. We want to know God, feel his presence, and trust that he hears our prayers, but in the midst of great pain, we may wonder if he really cares about us. Even when we have both hope and hurt, sometimes it’s the hurt that shouts the loudest. Can God be good when life is not?

In Hope in the Dark, Groeschel explores the story of the father who brought his demon-possessed son to Jesus, saying, “I believe! Help my unbelief!” In the man’s sincere plea, Jesus heard the tension in the man’s battle-scarred heart. He healed not only the boy but the father too, driving out the hopelessness that had overtaken him. He can do the same for us today.

As Groeschel shares his pain surrounding the current health challenges of his daughter, he acknowledges the questions we may ask in our own deepest pain: “Where was God when I was being abused?” “Why was my child born with a disability?” “Why did the cancer come back?” “Why are all my friends married and I’m alone?” He invites us to wrestle with such questions as we ask God to honor our faith and heal our unbelief.

In the middle of your profound pain, you long for authentic words of understanding and hope. You long to know that even in overwhelming reality, you can still believe that God is good. Rediscover a faith in the character, power, and presence of God. Even in the questions. Even now.

Hope in the Dark is also available in Spanish, Esperanza en la Oscuridad.

About the Author

New York Times bestselling author Craig Groeschel is the founding and senior pastor of Life.Church, an innovative and pacesetting church meeting in multiple locations around the United States and globally online, which also created the popular and free YouVersion Bible app. He is the author of several books, including Divine Direction, Liking Jesus, Fight, The Christian Atheist, and It. Craig, his wife, Amy, and their six children live in Edmond, Oklahoma. Visit http://www.craiggroeschelbooks.com

 

Master the decisions that will make your life everything God wants it to be.

Every day we make choices. And those choices accumulate and eventually become our life story. What would your life look like if you became an expert at making those choices?

In this inspiring guidebook, New York Times bestselling author Craig Groeschel shows how the choices that are in your power, if aligned with biblical principles, will lead to a life you’ve never imagined.

Divine Direction will help you seek wisdom through seven principles. You’ll consider one thing to stop that’s hindering you; how to start a new habit to re-direct your path; where you should stay committed; and when you should go even if it’s easier to stay. The book also includes criteria that will help you feel confident in the right choice, and encourages you with principles for trusting God with your decisions.

What story do you want to tell about yourself? God is dedicated to the wonderful plan he’s laid out for you. The achievable and powerful steps in Divine Direction take you there one step at a time, big, or small.

Review

Craig Groeschel has written another terrific book. I haven’t stood behind him watching him make his decisions, but I’ve seen him stand behind the ones he’s made, both the easy ones and the hard ones. These are true words from a humble guy who lives what he talks about. ( ―Bob Goff, author, New York Times bestselling Love Does) 

Not many people can write a book that makes following God look easy. But that’s exactly what Pastor Craig Groeschel has done in this down-to-earth, practical, life-giving message. This isn’t just another book about decision making; it’s more about the story of our whole lives that our daily decisions create. We don’t have to live by chance; we can live on purpose, on course, and part of the larger story God is weaving on the earth. ( ―Judah Smith, lead pastor, The City Church; author, New York Times bestselling Jesus Is) 

I believe our daily choices take us into our lifelong destiny. That’s why I am so excited that Craig Groeschel’s book Divine Direction challenges us on those small choices. This book will help you to see even the smallest decisions through the lens of God’s purpose as he calls you to step into his divine direction for your life. As someone who has learned the hard way about the power of good and bad choices, the principles in Divine Direction really resonate with me. If you’re ready to get out of your rut and make better decisions, Craig’s message is a great place to start your new journey. ( ―Dave Ramsey, bestselling author; nationally syndicated radio show host) 

This book by Pastor Craig Groeschel is a must-read for anyone who has been stuck not knowing what God has planned for their life or how they should be listening to his lead. I’m so thankful for people like Craig who can come alongside us with wisdom, humor, and insight! ( ―Jefferson Bethke, author, New York Times bestseller Jesus > Religion) 

When I have a big decision to make, after consulting God and my wife, the first person I go to for guidance is Craig Groeschel. His God-given ability to isolate the important issues and distill biblical wisdom into action steps is second to none. Divine Direction is your access point to these life-changing insights. ( ―Steven Furtick, pastor, Elevation Church; New York Times bestselling author) 

Craig Groeschel has written a practical yet spiritually grounded book that is certain to help you decide on your next steps in life. In Divine Direction, Craig unpacks seven decisions you can make today that will influence the stories you tell in the future. ( ―Andy Stanley, senior pastor, North Point Ministries) 

There was once a form of capital punishment practiced in China called ling chi—death by a thousand cuts. None of the incisions were a big deal, but together they were lethal. In Divine Direction, Pastor Craig Groeschel will help you avoid living a life of a thousand cuts. ( ―Levi Lusko, senior pastor, Fresh Life Church; author, Swipe Right) 

We often want to know what God’s will is for our lives. The answer may be a little different for each of us, but Divine Direction will give you a great framework for finding out what your story can be. With simple, practical, achievable goals, Craig helps us see the little steps that make a big difference in our lives. ( ―Kyle Idleman, author, Grace Is Greater)

About the Author

New York Times bestselling author Craig Groeschel is the founding and senior pastor of Life.Church, an innovative and pacesetting church meeting in multiple locations around the United States and globally online, which also created the popular and free YouVersion Bible app. He is the author of several books, including Divine Direction, Liking Jesus, Fight, The Christian Atheist, and It. Craig, his wife, Amy, and their six children live in Edmond, Oklahoma. Visit http://www.craiggroeschelbooks.com

Best Bipolar Books

Getting an accurate diagnosis is the first step toward reclaiming your life from bipolar disorder. But if you or someone you love is struggling with the frantic highs and crushing lows of this illness, there are still many hurdles to surmount at home, at work, and in daily life. You need current information and practical problem-solving advice you can count on. You’ve come to the right place.

* How can you distinguish between early warning signs of bipolar mood swings and normal ups and downs?
* What medications are available, and what are their side effects?
* What should you do when you find yourself escalating into mania or descending into depression?
* How can you tell your coworkers about your illness without endangering your career?
* If you have a family member with bipolar disorder, how can you provide constructive help and support?
Trusted authority Dr. David J. Miklowitz offers straight talk, true stories, and proven strategies that can help you achieve greater balance and free yourself from out-of-control moods. The updated second edition of this bestselling guide has the latest facts on medications and therapy, an expanded discussion of parenting issues for bipolar adults, and a new chapter, “For Women Only.”

Review

“A practical, straightforward book that will be a great help to those who have bipolar illness, as well as their families. I could not recommend this book more highly.”–Kay Redfield Jamison, PhD, author of An Unquiet Mind 

“This book has been a faithful friend in the difficult time since my diagnosis. I particularly appreciate the insights into communicating effectively with doctors, family, and friends after an episode. The charts, lists, and practical tools are amazing for those of us who like to be proactive and organized. But the best part of the book is the quotations from others with the disorder who share their experiences and feelings. I’ve said some of these exact things myself; seeing them here helps me feel just a little bit less isolated and more hopeful.”–N.B., Boulder, Colorado

About the Author

David J. Miklowitz, PhD, is Professor of Psychiatry at the University of California, Los Angeles (UCLA), School of Medicine, and Senior Clinical Researcher at Oxford University, UK. He directs the Integrative Study Center in Mood Disorders and the Child and Adolescent Mood Disorders Program at the UCLA Semel Institute. Dr. Miklowitz’s numerous publications include the award-winning book for professionalsBipolar Disorder: A Family-Focused Treatment Approach. He lives with his wife in Los Angeles.

Maintaining a relationship is hard enough without the added challenges of your partner’s bipolar disorder symptoms. Loving Someone with Bipolar Disorderoffers information and step-by-step advice for helping your partner manage mood swings and impulsive actions, allowing you to finally focus on enjoying your relationship while also taking time for yourself. This book explains the symptoms of your partner’s disorder and offers strategies for preventing them and responding to these symptoms when they do occur.

This updated edition includes a new section about the medications your partner may be taking so that you can understand the side effects and help monitor his or her bipolar treatment. As a supportive partner, you deserve support yourself. This book will help you create a more balanced, fulfilling relationship.

Improve your relationship by learning how to:

• Identify your partner’s symptom triggers so you can prevent episodes 
• Improve communication by stopping irrational “bipolar conversations” 
• Handle your partner’s emotional ups and downs 
• Foster closeness and connection with your partner Review

“Resources for individuals with bipolar disorder are few and far between, but those for the people who care for them are even scarcer. Julie A. Fast and John D. Preston have put together a valuable resource for families and caregivers of people with bipolar disorder. Taking a holistic perspective, these authors offer advice that will help readers help their loved ones with bipolar disorder. More importantly, this book encourages and helps readers to take good care of themselves and their relationships.”
—Sheri Van Dijk, MSW, RSW, psychotherapist and author of The Dialectical Behavior Therapy Skills Workbook for Bipolar Disorder, The Bipolar Workbook for Teens, and other books

“I am truly impressed with this wonderful book. I will have it in my office and recommend it to patients’ partners as a matter of course as they go through the journey with this illness.”
—Steven Juergens, MD

“More than an education about bipolar disorder, this is a welcome to the journey, in the kindest language you will find in any such book. Open to any page and you will notice the tone and wisdom of people who’ve obviously been there. It’s a challenge to maintain a relationship with someone who has this illness. You’d do well to have a guide, and you will not find any better than Julie A. Fast and John D. Preston. Nor will you find any clearer advice than that which the authors have laid out. Their book is remarkably emotionally intelligent and a privilege to read.”
—James Phelps, MD, mood disorders specialist at Samaritan Mental Health in Corvallis, OR, and author of Why Am I Still Depressed?“This book will help the loved ones of people living with bipolar disorder to better understand its challenges. It provides clear, concrete ways of giving the support needed to keep their loved ones healthy and get them through the rough spots.”
—Ruth White, PhD, MPH, MSW, associate professor of social work at Seattle University and author of Bipolar 101 

“Julie A. Fast and John D. Preston have put together an impressive second-edition guide for couples struggling with the reality of bipolar disorder. They strive to decouple the diagnosis from the individual living with it. This premise lays the groundwork for their discussion of compassionate, non-blaming communication combined with effective couples-based solutions for those striving to work through the interpersonal complexities of a relationship impacted by bipolar disorder. Loving Someone with Bipolar Disorder really is a must-read for anyone who does.”
—Russ Federman, PhD, ABPP, director of counseling and psychological services at the University of Virginia and author of Facing Bipolar

About the Author

Julie A. Fast, freelance writer and Web master of http://www.juliefast.com, lives in the Pacific Northwest. She believes that with the right tools, bipolar disorder is a predictable and treatable illness.
 An astonishing dispatch from inside the belly of bipolar disorder, reflecting major new insights

When Marya Hornbacher published her first book, Wasted: A Memoir of Anorexia and Bulimia, she did not yet have the piece of shattering knowledge that would finally make sense of the chaos of her life. At age twenty-four, Hornbacher was diagnosed with Type I rapid-cycle bipolar, the most severe form of bipolar disorder.

In Madness, in her trademark wry and utterly self-revealing voice, Hornbacher tells her new story. Through scenes of astonishing visceral and emotional power, she takes us inside her own desperate attempts to counteract violently careening mood swings by self-starvation, substance abuse, numbing sex, and self-mutilation. How Hornbacher fights her way up from a madness that all but destroys her, and what it is like to live in a difficult and sometimes beautiful life and marriage — where bipolar always beckons — is at the center of this brave and heart-stopping memoir.

Madness delivers the revelation that Hornbacher is not alone: millions of people in America today are struggling with a variety of disorders that may disguise their bipolar disease. And Hornbacher’s fiercely self-aware portrait of her own bipolar as early as age four will powerfully change, too, the current debate on whether bipolar in children actually exists.

Ten years after Kay Redfield Jamison’s An Unquiet Mind, this storm of a memoir will revolutionize our understanding of bipolar disorder.

From Publishers Weekly

Hornbacher, who detailed her struggle with bulimia and anorexia in Wasted, now shares the story of her lifelong battle with mental illness, finally diagnosed as rapid cycling type 1 bipolar disorder. Even as a toddler, Hornbacher couldn’t sleep at night and jabbered endlessly, trying to talk her parents into going outside to play in the dark. Other schoolchildren called her crazy. When she was just 10, she discovered alcohol was a good mood stabilizer; by age 14, she was trading sex for pills. In her late teens, her eating disorder landed her in the hospital, followed by another body obsession, cutting. An alcoholic by this point, she was alternating between mania and depression, with frequent hospitalizations. Her doctor explained that not only did the alcohol block her medications, it was up to her to control her mental illness, which would always be with her. This truth didn’t sink in for a long, long time, but when it did, she had a chance for a life outside her local hospital’s psychiatric unit. Hornbacher ends on a cautiously optimistic note—she knows she’ll never lead a normal life, but maybe she could live with the life she does have. Although painfully self-absorbed, Hornbacher will touch a nerve with readers struggling to cope with mental illness. (Apr.) 
Copyright © Reed Business Information, a division of Reed Elsevier Inc. All rights reserved.

From Booklist

Like a horror-movie sequence that threatens never to end, Hornbacher’s testimony grabs and doesn’t let go through episode after episode of bulimia, substance abuse, and promiscuity. Mania with its attendant voices plagued Hornbacher ever since she can remember. Extreme mood swings finally led to diagnosis at 24 of bipolarity. Possibly genetic, given a family history rife with anecdotes implying mental instability going back for generations, Hornbacher’s bipolar disorder is a label she initially rejected, though she responded to medication for it. She married, and threw herself into overworking that triggered recurrences of the mood swings, two years of repeated hospitalization, then electroconvulsive therapy. With cutting perception and skill, she makes palpable not only madness’ losses but the things gained as well. –Whitney Scott

Review

“Stunning…A primal scream of a story sure to resonate even with those who possess a healthy attitude toward food and weight.” —Glamour

Review

Hornbacher, who detailed her struggle with bulimia and anorexia in Wasted, now shares the story of her lifelong battle with mental illness, finally diagnosed as rapid cycling type 1 bipolar disorder. Even as a toddler, Hornbacher couldn’t sleep at night and jabbered endlessly, trying to talk her parents into going outside to play in the dark. Other schoolchildren called her crazy. When she was just 10, she discovered alcohol was a good mood stabilizer; by age 14, she was trading sex for pills. In her late teens, her eating disorder landed her in the hospital, followed by another body obsession, cutting. An alcoholic by this point, she was alternating between mania and depression, with frequent hospitalizations. Her doctor explained that not only did the alcohol block her medications, it was up to her to control her mental illness, which would always be with her. This truth didn’t sink in for a long, long time, but when it did, she had a chance for a life outside her local hospital’s psychiatric unit. Hornbacher ends on a cautiously optimistic note—she knows she’ll never lead a normal life, but maybe she could live with the life she does have. Although painfully self-absorbed, Hornbacher will touch a nerve with readers struggling to cope with mental illness. (Publishers Weekly )

Like a horror-movie sequence that threatens never to end, Hornbacher’s testimony grabs and doesn’t let go through episode after episode of bulimia, substance abuse, and promiscuity. Mania with its attendant voices plagued Hornbacher ever since she can remember. Extreme mood swings finally led to diagnosis at 24 of bipolarity. Possibly genetic, given a family history rife with anecdotes implying mental instability going back for generations, Hornbacher’s bipolar disorder is a label she initially rejected, though she responded to medication for it. She married, and threw herself into overworking that triggered recurrences of the mood swings, two years of repeated hospitalization, then electroconvulsive therapy. With cutting perception and skill, she makes palpable not only madness’ losses but the things gained as well. (Booklist -Whitney Scott )

From the Back Cover

“Hornbacher is a virtuoso writer.” – New York TimesWhen Marya Hornbacher publisheda nationally bestselling memoir of her battle with anorexia and bulimia she had no idea that there was a piece of shattering knowledge that wouold finally make sense of the chaos of her life.Her struggles withmental illness, andthe story she would have to tell about them, were far from over.At twenty-four, Hornbacher was diagnosed with Type I rapid-cycle bipolar disorder, the most severe form. In Madness, she detailsher fight back fromthe disease that nearly destroyed her.Tracing the history of her illness, she shows how bipolar can spawn a number of other conditions, including eating disorders, substance abuse, promiscuity, and self-mutilation. Like Hornbacher, many of us suffer from these never knowing that they are related tobipolar, that there is a larger cause for our particular pain. Now, in this brave, heart-stopping, beautifully written memoir Marya Hornbacher offers a challenge to the perception of bipolar in America.Madness is an incredibleportraitof a difficult, sometimes beautiful life.”With the same intimately revelatory and shocking emotional power that marked [Wasted], Hornbacher guides us through her labyrinth of psychological demons.” —Elle 

“Hooks readers from the start …. [as Hornbacher] whips around this rollercoaster ride, her unflinching style keeps us firmly seated beside her.” —USA Today Marya Hornbacher is the author of the Pulitzer Prize-nominated national bestseller Wasted: A Memoir of Anorexia and Bulimia, a book that remains an intensely read classic, and the acclaimed novel The Center of Winter. An award-winning journalist, she lectures nationally on writing and mental health and lives in Minneapolis, Minnesota.”

About the Author

MARYA HORNBACHER is the author of the Pulitzer Prize-nominated national bestseller Wasted: A Memoir of Anorexia and Bulimia, a book that remains an intensely read classic, and of the acclaimed novel The Center of Winter. An award-winning journalist, she lectures nationally on eating disorders and lives with her husband in Minneapolis.

Excerpt. © Reprinted by permission. All rights reserved.

The Goatman 1978

I will not go to sleep. I won’t. My parents, who are always going to bed, tell me that I can stay up if I want, but for God’s sake, don’t come out of my room. I am four years old and I like to stay up all night. I sing my songs, very quietly. I keep watch. Nothing can get me if I am awake.
I sleep during the day like a bat with the blinds closed, and then they come home. I hear them open the door, and I fling on the lights and gallop through the house shrieking to wake the dead all evening, all night. Let’s have a play! I shout. Let’s have a ballet! A reading! A race! Don’t tell me what to do, get away from me, I hate you, you’re never any fun, you never let me do anything, I want to go to the opera! I want opera glasses! I’m going to be an explorer! I don’t care if I track mud all over the house, let’s get another dog! I want an Irish setter, I want a camel! I want an Easter dress! I’m going ice-skating! Right now, yes! Where are the car keys? Of course I can drive! Fine, go to bed! See if I care!
And I slam into my room, dive onto the bed, kick and scream, get bored, read a book, shouting at the top of my lungs, “I don’t care,” says Pierre! And the lion says, “Then I will eat you, if I may.” “I don’t care, says Pierre!” It is my favorite Maurice Sendak book. I jabber to my imaginary friends Susie and Sackie and Savvy and Cindy, who tell me secrets and stay with me all night while I am keeping watch, while I am guarding the castle, and there are horrible creatures waiting to kill me so I talk to myself all night, writing a play and acting it out with a thousand little porcelain figures that I dust every day, twice a day, I must keep things neat, in their magic positions, or something terrible will happen. The shah of Iran, who is under my bed, will leap out and carry me away under his arm.
I have to get dressed. So what if it’s black as pitch outside. I go to the closet, I take out a jumper and a white shirt, and from the dresser I get white socks and white underwear and a white undershirt, and I get my favorite saddle shoes, and I suit up completely. I must be very quiet or my parents will hear. I tie my shoes in double knots so I won’t fall out of them. I get on my hands and knees and crawl all over the room, smoothing out the carpet. Finally I make myself stop. I lie down in the center of the floor, facing the door in case of emergency. I cross my ankles and fold my hands across my middle. I close my eyes. I fall asleep, or die.

“Mom,” I whisper loudly, pushing on her shoulder. It’s dark, I’m in my parents’ bedroom, a ghost in my white nightie. “Mom,” I say again, shaking her. I bounce up and down on my toes and lean over her, my mouth near her ear. “Mom, I have to tell you something.” “What is it?” she mumbles, opening one eye.
“The goatman,” I whisper, agitated. “He’s in my room. He came while I was sleeping. You have to make him leave. I can’t sleep. Will you read to me?” I hop about, crashing into the nightstand. “Can we make a cake? I want to make a cake, I can’t go to school tomorrow, I’m scared of Teacher Jackie, she yells at us, she doesn’t like me, Mom, the goatman, do you have to go to work tomorrow? Will you read to me?” “Marya, it’s the middle of the night,” she says, hoisting herself up with her elbow. Next to her, the mountain of my father snores. “Can we read tomorrow?” “I can’t go back in there!” I shriek, running around in a tiny circle. “The goatman will get me! We could make cookies instead! I want to buy a horse, a gray one! And I want to go to the beach and collect seashells, can’t we go to the beach, I promise I’ll sleep —” My mother swings her legs off the edge of the bed and holds me by the shoulders. “Honey, can you slow down? Just slow down.” Out of breath, I stand there, my head spinning. “What did you want to tell me?” she asks. “One thing. Tell me the most important thing you want to tell me.” “The goatman,” I say, and burst into tears. “But Mom, I can’t—” “Shhh,” she says, picking me up. She carries me down the hall. This is how she fixes it. She holds me very tight and things slow down a little. But I’m too upset. I set my chin on her shoulder and sob and babble. Everyone’s going to leave, you’ll forget to come get me, I’ll get lost, I’ll get stuck in the grocery store and they’ll lock me in. What if there are snakes in my bedroom? Why won’t the goatman go away? What if it isn’t perfect? What if it’s scary? What if you and Daddy die? Who will take care of me? What if you give me away? I don’t want you to give me away, I want to be a policeman, why do policemen wear hats — “Marya, hush. It’s all right. Everything’s going to be all right.” I want to see Grandma, let’s go see Grrandma, I want to go outside and play in the yard, why can’t I play in the yard when it’s dark, I want to look at the moon — We pace up anddddd down the hall. I get more and more agitated, swinging moment by moment from terror to elation to utter despair, until finally I wiggle my way free and start to run. I race around the house, my mother trailing me, until I stumble on my nightgown and sprawl out on the floor, sobbing, beating my fists on the ground. “I’m here,” she says. “Honey, I’m here.” I snuffle and drag a hiccupping breath and heave a sigh. She is here. She is right here. She picks me up. She carries me into the bathroom and turns on the bathtub. While it runs, I squirm on her lap, kicking my legs, shrieking, laughing, crying, I can’t ever go back in my room, the goatman, I want to have a party, when is it Christmas, I want to live in a tree house, what if I fall in the ocean and drown, where do I go when I die — She pulls my nightgown over my head and sets me in the tub. I am suddenly quiet. Water makes it better. In the water, I am safe. She kneels next to me where I sit, only my head sticking out of the water. She tells me a story. Things are slowing down. I am contained. I bob in the water, warm, enclosed. My limbs float. The noise and racing of my thoughts wind down until they yawn in my head as if they are in slow motion. My head is filled with white cotton, and I hear a low humming, and my skull is heavy. I am aware only of the water and my mother’s voice.
Back in bed, she wraps me tight in my quilt, my arms and legs and feet and hands all covered, kept in so they won’t fly off. The goatman has gone away for the night. She sits on the edge of my bed, smoothing my hair. I am wrapped up like a package. I am a caterpillar in my cocoon. I am an egg.
She stays with me until, near dawn, I fall asleep.

What They Know 1979

They know I am different. They say that I live in my head. They are just being kind. I’m crazy. The other kids say it, twirl their fingers next to their heads, Cuckoo! Cuckoo! they say, and I laugh with them, and roll my eyes to imitate a crazy person, and fling my arms and legs around to show them that I get the joke, I’m in on it, I’m not really crazy at all. They do it after one of my outbursts at school or in daycare, when I’ve been running around like a maniac, laughing like crazy, or while I get lost in my words, my mouth running off ahead of me, spilling the wild, lit-up stories that race through my head, or when I burst out in raging fits that end with me sobbing hysterically and beating my fists on my head or my desk or my knees. Then I look up suddenly, and everyone’s staring. And I brighten up, laugh my happiest laugh, to show them I was just kidding, I’m really not like that, and everyone laughs along.

I am lying on the bed. I am listening to my parents scream at each other in the other room. That’s what they do. They scream or throw things or both. You son of a bitch! [crash]. You’re trying to ruin my life! [crash, shatter, crash]. When they are not screaming, we are all cozy and happy and laughing, the little bear family, we love each other, we have the all-a-buddy hug. It’s hard to tell which is going to come next. Between the screaming and the crazies, it is very loud in my head.
And so I am feeling numb. It’s a curious feeling, and I get it all the time. My attention to the world around me disappears, and something starts to hum inside my head. Far off, voices try to bump up against me, but I repel them. My ears fill up with water and I focus on the humming in my head.
I am inside my skull. It is a little cave, and I curl up inside it. Below it, my body hovers, unattached. I have that feeling of falling, and I imagine my soul is being pulled upward, and I close my eyes and let go.
My feet are flying. I hate it when my feet are flying. I sit up and grab them with both hands. It’s dark, and I stare at the little line of light that sneaks in under the door.
The light begins to move. It begins to pulse and blur. I try to make it stop. I scowl and stare at it. My heart beats faster. I am frozen in my bed, gripping my feet. The light has crawled across the floor. It’s headed for the bed. I want it to hold still, so I press my brain against it, expecting it to stop, but it doesn’t. The line crosses the purple carpet. I want to scream. I open my mouth and hear myself say something, but I don’t know what it is or who said it. The little man in my mind said it, I decide, suddenly aware that there is a little man in my mind.
The line is crawling up the side of the bed. I tell it to go away. Holding my feet, I scootch back toward the wall. My brain is feeling the pressure. I let go of my feet and cover my ears, pressing in to calm my mind. The line crests the edge of the bed and starts across the flowered quilt. I throw myself off the bed. I watch the line turn toward me, slide off the bed, follow me into the corner of my room.
I want to go under the bed but I know it will follow me. I jump up on the bed, jump down, run into the closet and out again, the humming in my head is excruciatingly loud. The light is going to hurt me. I can’t escape it. It catches up with me, wraps around me, grips my body. I am paralyzed, I can’t scream. So I close my eyes and feel it come up my spine and creep into my brain. I watch it explode like the sun.
I drift off into my head. I have visions of the goatman, with his horrible hooves. He comes to kill me every night. They say it is a nightmare. But he is real. When he comes, I feel his fur.
I don’t come out of my room for days. I tell them I’m sick, and pull the blinds against the light. Even the glow of the moon is too piercing. The world outside presses in at the walls, trying to reach me, trying to eat me alive. I must stay here in bed, in the hollow of my sheets, trying to block the racing, maniac thoughts.
I turn over and burrow into the bed headfirst.

I have these crazy spells sometimes. Often. More and more. But I never tell. I laugh and pretend I am a real girl, not a fake one, a figment of my own imagination, a mistake. I never let on, or they will know that I am crazy for sure, and they will send me away.
This being the 1970s, the idea of a child with bipolar is unheard of, and it’s still controversial today. No psychiatrist would have diagnosed it then — they didn’t know it was possible. And so children with bipolar were seen as wild, troubled, out of control — but not in the grips of a serious illness.
My father is having one of his rages. He screams and sobs, lurching after me, trying to grab me and pick me up, keep me from going away with my mother, but I make myself small and hide behind her legs. We are trying to leave for my grandmother’s house. We are taking a train. I have a small plaid suitcase. I come around and stand suspended between my parents, looking back and forth at each one. My mother is calm and mean. The calmer she gets, the more I know she is angry and hates him. She hisses, Jay, for Christ’s sake, stop it. Stop it. You’re crazy, stop screaming, calm down, we’re leaving, you can’t stop us. My father is out of control, yelling, coming at my mother, grabbing at her clothes as she tries to move away from him. Don’t leave me, he cries out as if he’s being tortured, choking on his words, don’t leave me, I can’t live without you, you are the reason I even bother to stay alive, without you I’m nothing. His face is twisted and red and wet from tears. He throws himself on the floor and curls up and cries and screams. I go over to him and pat him on the head. He grabs me and clutches me in his arms and I get scared and try to push away from him but I’m not strong enough. I finally get free and he stands up again, and I stand between them, my head at hip level, trying to push them apart. He kneels and grabs my arms, Baby, I love you, do you love me? Say you love me — and I pat his wet cheeks and say I love him, wanting to get away from him and his rages and black sadness and his lying-on-the-couch-crying days when I get home from preschool, and his sucking need, and I close my eyes and scream at the top of my lungs and tell them both to stop it.
My father calms down and takes us to the train station, but halfway there he starts up again and we nearly crash the car. We leave him standing on the platform, sobbing.
“Why does he get like that?” I ask my mother. I sit in the window seat swinging my legs, watching the trees go by, listening to the clatter of the wheels. I look at my mother. She stares straight ahead.
“I don’t know,” she says. I picture my father back at home, walking through the empty house to the couch, lying down on his side, staring out the window like he does some afternoons, even though I tell him over and over I love him. Over and over, I tell him I love him and that everything will be okay. He never believes me. I can never make him well. crazy is nothing out of the ordinary in my family. It’s what we are, part of the family identity, sort of a running joke — the crazy things somebody did, the great-grandfather who took off with the circus from time to time, the uncle who painted the horse, Uncle Frank in general, my father, me. In the 1970s, psychiatry knows very little about bipolar disorder. It wasn’t even called that until the 1980s, and the term didn’t catch on for another several years. Most people with bipolar were misdiagnosed with schizophrenia in the 1970s (in the 1990s, most bipolar people were misdiagnosed with unipolar depression).We didn’t talk about “mental illness.” The adults knew Uncle Joe had manic depression, but they didn’t mind or worry about it — just one more funny thing about us all, a little bit of crazy, fodder for a good story.
This is my favorite one: Uncle Joe used to spend a fair amount of time in the loony bin. My family wasn’t bothered by his regular trips to and from “the facility” — they’d shrug and say, There goes Joe, and they’d put him in the car and take him in. One day Uncle Frank (who everybody knows is crazy — my cousins and I hide from him under the bed at Christmas) was driving Uncle Joe to the crazy place. When they got there, Joe asked Frank to drop him off at the door while Frank went and parked the car. Frank didn’t think much of it, and dropped him off.
Joe went inside, smiled at the nurse, and said, “Hi. I’m Frank Hornbacher. I’m here to drop off Joe. He likes to park the car, so I let him do that. He’ll be right in.” The nurse nodded knowingly. The real Frank walked in. The nurse took his arm and guided him away, murmuring the way nurses always do, while Frank hollered in protest, insisting that he was Frank, not Joe. Joe, quite pleased with himself, gave Frank a wave and left.

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

I blog about my personal struggle with trichotillomania and bipolar disorder. I also discuss helpful strategies, reflections, and treatments.

Burble by a Bipolar Brain.

Candid ruminations on madness. Musings of a girl seeking normality within bipolarity. Minefield mind exploding through the pen. The write direction.

Soul Searching

Psychology. Counselling. Mental Health. Inspiration!

AWAKENING THE CLASSIC MAN

TRANSFORMING MEN INTO GODS

Little Fears

Tales of humour, whimsy and courgettes

The Last Chardonnay

Blogging through shared experiences, victimizations, and behavior patterns of persons with high-functioning alcoholism, personality disorders, and the subsequent emotional abuse.

Signs of a Gay Husband by Debra Sutton

Identifying Closeted Gay Husband Behaviors

Discovering Your Happiness

Your mind is powerful, it can heal you as much as it can harm you.

My Exaggerated Life

Based on actual events.

Trichotillomania Weblog

Personal stories from those with experience of trichotillomania - pulling out hair.

A Great Work

...and I cannot come down (Nehemiah 6:3)

twirlings

passion.creativity.love

Motivation & Personality development

This site is for Personality development & Motivation

A Bipolars Reality

Where Being Bipolar is Real

The Bipolar Compass

It's OK to feel lost every once in a while

Pieces of Bipolar

One of a kind bipolar II rapid cycling navigating the world one day at a time

The Depressed Christian

The Depressed Christian

Mirrorgirl

My life as a psychologist

Light Play ~ Evolution

we are fish that play in a sea of light

My bipolar soul

A 20-something wannabe writers blog giving an honest account of what it's really like living with Bipolar II

%d bloggers like this: