Five factors are necessary for long-lasting change.
• accept that we have a problem;
• want to solve the problem;
• identify a solution that works;
• implement this solution–do the work; and
• perform the necessary maintenance.
All of these factors must be in place before any long-lasting change will occur in anyone. For our self, we must honestly assess the problem and acknowledge the full repercussions it is causing in our life; then we must develop a sincere desire to change. This acceptance and “want to” are great starting points but accomplish little or nothing unless followed with proper action. We must find a solution that has been proven to solve this specific problem and do the work necessary to make that solution active in our life. And there is always maintenance; the old habits and things that caused the original problem are deeply rooted and do not simply disappear; we only acquire the new and more desirable traits with conscious, persistent practice.
These five factors also clarify why we cannot make another person change. When facing a true problem, the person with the problem must accept the reality of the problem and develop a genuine desire for change. If we recognize a problem affecting the life of a person we love, we examine our motives to see if it is really any of our business; if so, we try to objectively explain the situation and the facts as we see them but always realize that each person must find his or her own acceptance of the problem and the desire to find a solution. We cannot do it for them.
Prayer: Dear God, help me to clearly see what I must change so that I can live the life you want for me. Grant me the strength and guidance to make these changes.
“Inaction breeds doubt and fear. Action breeds confidence and courage. If you want to conquer fear, do not sit home and think about it. Go out and get busy.” ~ Dale Carnegie…
Good morning everybody… To me, faith is a mindset. It is the substance of things we hope for yet evidence of things not seen. Doubt, on the other hand, is just another form of fear. As a child, I deeply trusted my faith. I was young, life hadn’t had the opportunity to beat me down yet. This was before I started listening to my ego more than my heart and fear started pushing God out. So, when my faith and trust in God began to re-enter my life, I started feeling like a child again with absolute faith. I began to realize that every experience, especially the difficult ones, are here to teach me about my own truth and help me to awaken. But, if I remained frozen in doubt, I would never learn that lesson. So, follow your dream, take that chance. God will be with you every step of the way. Have a great Thursday! Good bless you in all endeavours.
“…we covered low self-esteem by hiding behind phony images that we hoped would fool people. The masks have to go.”
Basic Text, p. 33
Over-sensitivity, insecurity, and lack of identity are often associated with active addiction. Many of us carry these with us into recovery; our fears of inadequacy, rejection, and lack of direction do not disappear overnight. Many of us have images, false personalities we have constructed either to protect ourselves or please others. Some of us use masks because we’re not sure who we really are. Sometimes we think that these images, built to protect us while using, might also protect us in recovery.
We use false fronts to hide our true personality, to disguise our lack of self-esteem. These masks hide us from others and also from our own true selves. By living a lie, we are saying that we cannot live with the truth about ourselves. The more we hide our real selves, the more we damage our self-esteem.
One of the miracles of recovery is the recognition of ourselves, complete with assets and liabilities. Self-esteem begins with this recognition. Despite our fear of becoming vulnerable, we need to be willing to let go of our disguises. We need to be free of our masks and free to trust ourselves.
Just for today: I will let go of my masks and allow my self- esteem to grow.
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