Category Archives: Relationships

What Not to Say

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Narcissistic Personality Disorder vs. Autism Spectrum Disorder


A result of such a rendezvous would be the feeling that one was unworthy, invisible and, somehow, “less than “.This is exacerbated by the unexpected nature of the insult received. It would be safe, under these circumstances, to guess that one has been in contact with someone who is detached from the feelings that would be expected under normal circumstances.

It can be problematic to discern if one was slighted intentionally or accidentally. The issue of volition is what necessitates the effort to understand the difference between NPD and ASD. A narcissist is well aware of the offense that has been delivered. Someone on the autism spectrum doesn’t have a clue.

Someone with ASD may appear to be normal and may excel in certain of life’s tasks. What they lack is an understanding of anyone else’s emotions. As an example, if someone with ASD parented a child, he/she would not be able to figure out that when a baby cries it is in need. This ASD parent would believe that the child is crying just for the sake of crying.

An individual on the Spectrum suffers from what is called “mindblindness”. This is the inability to empathize. He/she does not understand that others do not see the world through his/her( the person on the Spectrum’s )own particular lens. So, when the baby is crying and the ASD parent feels well-fed and comfortable it is beyond the parent’s capacity to get it that the baby may be cold or hungry.

The narcissist understands the sensitivities of others all too well. The narcissist is a master manipulator who does not care when his/her actions are hurtful. In fact, the narcissist can, intentionally, be a dangerous enemy. Beneath the arrogance that is displayed when no one “important” is around, is an ego that has been depleted of feelings of safety and self-regard.
When it comes to intimate relationships the narcissist can launch an attack that is especially hurtful. The reason for this is that the narcissist is so vulnerable to feelings of shame that he/she may, literally, wish to destroy the person who tapped into that shame.

The individual with NPD uses his/her understanding of human nature (which, of course, is cynical) to curry favor on one side of the equation and to insult and depersonalize on the other. This person is a skilled seducer who becomes furious when his/her efforts fail to produce the desired outcome. Whoever becomes intimately involved with someone with NPD is certain to be bruised. Love and interest will be offered and withdrawn as the NPD strives to enhance his/her own life. There is no genuine concern for the welfare of others.

While the NPD uses his/her expertise deliberately, the ASP has no comprehension as to why others behave the way they do. While the ASP may appear to be arrogant and rude, he/she lacks any sense of self-awareness and cannot grasp the meaning of behaviors that he/she encounters every day.

What makes social interaction particularly difficult for the ASD is that he/she doesn’t know what he/she doesn’t know. Remember, an individual on the spectrum has no idea that another has a mind of his/her own. The ASD does not wish to inflict harm. It is helpful when offended by someone on the Spectrum, to remember that the intent was not to misuse. Rather, mindblindness kicked in and the individual with ASD has no idea that he/she may have left behind hurt feelings.

For someone on the Spectrum, friendships are about shared interests not about emotional connection. Emotions are inexplicable to the ASD individual. The vocabulary is extremely limited and very basic. For many, their interests are confined to a particular subject and are intense. The ASD will happily perseverate on a topic of interest.

Another aspect of spending time with someone on the Spectrum is that he/she has no understanding of symbolism and metaphor. It has been reported that a mother told her child, who was on the Spectrum, that she did not believe what he was telling her. She illustrated this by saying, “You can tell me this until the cows come home and I still won’t believe you.” Her son’s reply: “ I don’t care about cows”.

An individual on the Spectrum cannot draw inferences or make predictions about the outcome. Therefore, this individual may be quite unprepared for the negative feedback or consequences of his/her behavior.

While there have been many theories as to the cause of ASD, the answer remains elusive. Some have theorized that children on the Spectrum have at least one parent who has NPD. There is no evidence that supports this premise.

There is evidence, however that the offspring of those with either NPD or ASD bear a number of traits in common. Because these children have been raised by parents who are incapable of empathy, they often grow up believing that they are inherently damaged and that, somehow, it is their own fault. There is a term for those who hold these damaging and intractable beliefs: Ongoing Traumatic Relationship Syndrome — OTRS. The lack of parental validation can cut deeply into a youngster’s soul and may prove to be incurable even with ongoing psychotherapy. The child of a parent on the Syndrome is frequently ashamed of the parent, which reinforces the child’s personal shame.

The person with ASD is frequently a victim. The individual with NPD is likely to be a victimizer. It is fortunate when there is a so-called “normal” individual who can look out for the welfare of the person on the Spectrum. Those with ASD are sitting ducks for exploitation.

The narcissist does not care about the damage left behind. The person on the Spectrum does not understand that the damage has occurred. An important piece of knowledge to hold on to when one encounters a personal interaction that is breathtakingly obnoxious. It is wise to protect oneself from the narcissist. It is equally judicious, as well as kind, to allow an individual on the Spectrum some latitude. Intent makes all the difference



Asperger’s vs Narcissism. (n.d.). Retrieved July 18, 2017, from refulgentcoleman.blogspot.com Heitler, S., Ph.D. (2014, June 11). Do You Think of Narcissism as an Autism Spectrum

Heitler, S., Ph.D. (2014, June 11). Do You Think of Narcissism as an Autism Spectrum Disorder? Retrieved July 11, 2017, from psychology today.com

Koenraadt, M. (2016, May 18). Raised By Emotionally Immature Parents. Retrieved July 11, 2017, from koenraddt.info

Marshack, K. (16, January 18). Narcissistic Personality Disorder and Asperger Syndrome — Can You Tell The Difference? Retrieved July 11, 2017, from kmarshack.com

Rodman, S. (2016, August 28). Aspberger’s: When Narcissism Just Doesn’t Explain Your Partner’s Inability to Empathize. Retrieved July 11, 2017, from drpsychmom.com

About the Author

Ruth GordonRuth Gordon, MA/MSW/LCSW

I bring with me +30 years of experience as a clinician. My Masters degrees are from: Assumption College, Worcester, MA, Master of Arts in Psychology & Counseling/ and Boston University School of Social Work, Boston, MA, an MSW in Clinical Social Work. This is the 11th year I have written a monthly newsletter that is sent to approximately 500 individuals. The archive can be found on my website, http://www.foreverfabulousyou.com.

Office Location:
The OC Building, 11983 Tamiami Trail, N., Naples, FL 34110
Naples, Florida
34110
United States
Phone: 239 293-4314
Contact Ruth Gordon

Ruth Gordon has a clinical practice in Naples, FL

Professional Website: www.foreverfabulousyou.com

50 Devious Habits Of Highly Toxic Narcissists


50 Devious Habits Of Highly Toxic Narcissists (And Why They Do What They Do)

Many malignant narcissists, for example, use most, if not all of the behaviors listed and more to diminish their victims.

Whether you’re dealing with a garden-variety jerk or a predatory psychopath depends on the frequency of the behaviors as well as the ways in which that person approaches accountability. If you find that they are unwilling to change their toxic behaviors and actually take pleasure in engaging in them, you might be dealing with someone who is character-disordered. Here are fifty signs you’re dealing with a highly toxic person:

1. They criticize to nitpick and demean you, not to empower you. Highly toxic people don’t give constructive criticism as a way to help you – they throw nuggets of disdain rather than wisdom your way in order to make you double your efforts to please them. They stage personal attacks on your character or develop a hyperfocus on irrelevant things, sometimes even fabricated flaws, to evoke insecurity in you.

2. They give unsolicited advice, especially in situations where it is inappropriate to do so or about matters you’ve made clear are none of their business. Giving unsolicited advice enables a toxic person to feel in control and smug. Most of their unsolicited advice is usually not even helpful, and is doled out as a way to distract you from your progress.

3. They enjoy raining on your parade. Toxic people like bringing little tempests of debasing comments whenever they see you’re that you’re proud of yourself or feeling especially happy. It’s usually because they’re envious. 

4. They frequently play devil’s advocate especially when it’s unnecessary.They tend to do this with regards to issues that are deeply personal to you and touch on your core values, belief systems, life experiences and moral codes. For example, a highly toxic person might try to dismiss a trauma you’ve gone through by arguing that it’s not really a trauma at all. They may get into useless discussions about whether everyone should have equal rights and whether proven facts are truly legitimate. This is not done with the intention of adding to the discussion, but to provoke you and warp your sense of security about your perspectives.

5. They copy your mannerisms, your work, your behavior, anything they covet. In this context, imitation is not the highest form of flattery, because they do it so often you feel like a part of you is being “stolen.” They are identity thieves in that they steal facets of your personality for their own. They are always “watching” to see what other attribute they can take from you. They have no core sense of self, so they’d prefer to mimic the qualities they know make you likeable and victorious.

6. They rage excessively when challenged. When done by a pathological person, this is what is known as narcissistic rage. It occurs when a person feels slighted or when they feel their sense of superiority is negated in any way. Raging at the perceived offender allows the toxic person to reclaim some measure of control and reaffirms their sense of superiority.

7. They guilt you when they don’t get what they want. Since they feel excessively entitled to everything, they feel they need to coerce you into getting the outcome they desire.

8. After mistreating you, they try to get you to feel sorry for them. These pity ploys are a way for them to skirt responsibility and have you work hard to please them instead.

9. They rarely take accountability for their actions or say sorry. Apologizing would mean sharing in the consequences for their behavior or taking part in evolving from it. That’s why toxic people rarely do it.

10. If they do apologize, it’s usually to get you to forgive them. There’s no change in their behavior accompanying the apology. In fact, they may even continue the same behavior with even more force after you’ve pointed it out.

11. They act superior to you and treat you with contempt, as if you were below them in some way. Toxic people believe that others exist to serve them and that they deserve to be the center of attention. They do not like seeing the success of others nor do they want to feel as if someone could possibly surpass them in any way. When they see someone with qualities and strengths that threaten to take the attention away from them, they do not hesitate in humiliating, shaming or tearing down that individual to put him or her back in “their place.”

12. They use chronic, vitriolic sarcasm. This form of sarcasm is notemployed as a way to playfully build rapport as some people use it, but as a way to demean you and make you feel small.

13. They attempt to sabotage you in areas where they know you’re flourishing. Whether it’s creating chaos before a major job interview or ruining a celebration, toxic people are always on the lookout for how they can prevent you from achieving a level of success and joy that could threaten to overtake their power over you.

14. They call you names and verbally abuse you. These are traumatic shortcuts to control your behavior. Toxic people know that if they repeat something long enough, you’ll start to internalize it. Verbal abuse acts as a portal to erode your identity and self-esteem.

15. They attempt to micromanage your life.  They may try to control where you go and who you see. They might try to place undue pressures or demands that take up your time so that you’re unable to pursue the dreams or support networks that they know are outside of their psychological jurisdiction.

16. They take over your finances, your career and demand a portion of what you’ve earned for themselves. Agency, independence and the ability to thrive on your own terms is very threatening to a toxic individual. Toxic people require that their victims be isolated; success, economic empowerment and a solid support network all threaten this, so they feel they have to take back the reins on the parts of your life that grant you a sense of stability and self-actualization.

17. They compete with you rather than celebrate your accomplishments. At first, toxic individuals may exhibit a starry-eyed admiration of your achievements. However, these same achievements come under extreme scrutiny as they work to use them for their own agenda or diminish them as a way to feel superior.

18. They project their own shame into you. If you evoke in them a sense of inadequacy – even without meaning to – they’ll suddenly go into an epic rant and rave, defending themselves with an excessive amount of force. You’re left dumbfounded as to why they’re so invested in proving themselves and why they’re so intent on attacking you, when in reality, their reactions have little to do with you and everything to do with their own egotistical delusions.

19. They project their own malignant qualities onto you. Everything that makes them toxic (their rage, their envy, their selfishness) is assigned to you as they try to paint you as the unhinged one.

20. They gaslight you. They make you believe that you are unable to see your own reality clearly. They deny abusive things they’ve said or done. This sudden “abuse amnesia” works to undercut your perceptions and make you doubt yourself.

21. They engage in pathological lying and infidelity. Lying comes easily to them and so does betrayal. They engage in a number of indiscretions and affairs, all while leading a double life. Their public image and facade rarely match the person they really are behind closed doors.

22. They exaggerate your flaws to the point of absurdity. This is meant to leave you feeling hopeless and worthless so that you are unable to self-validate. When you’re too busy feeling unworthy, you’re also too busy to realize that you deserve better.

23. Meanwhile, they dismiss your good qualities and all you’ve done to help them. You only seem to get “credit” for what the toxic person thinks you’ve done wrong. You feel as if you can never quite measure up to whatever arbitrary standards or expectations they’ve set for you. That’s because they’d never want you to feel sure of yourself – they want you to keep trying to please them so that you’ll never work to please yourself.

24. They don’t take ownership over their own problems; they expect you to clean up after them and fix their lives. Highly toxic people never want to be held responsible for being adults; they want to be coddled like children. If they made a mistake, they’ll inevitably scapegoat you and claim you’re the problem.

25. They blame you for parts of their lives that theyare responsible for taking care of. Their various addictions, failures, shortcomings all get served on your plate – along with the check. It’s as if they expect you to pay the price for their own omissions and struggles.

26. They are hypersensitive to any feedback you give them, even if it’s done gently. Meanwhile, they have no problem giving you plenty of “feedback” in terms of what they perceive is wrong about you.

27. They exhibit hot and cold behavior. One minute they’re love-bombing you with excessive praise, and the next they’re withdrawing from you as if you were the plague. These intermittent periods of kindness mixed with cruelty are a set-up to get you addicted to the crazymaking cycle of their abuse.

28. They subject you to the silent treatment (and there’s no good reason for it). They subject you to unpredictable periods of silence where they do not interact with you at all; it’s as if you cease to exist, even if you’re in an intimate relationship. The silent treatment is harmful because it affects the same area of the brain that registers physical pain. The silent treatment allows them space to commit whatever treason they’re engaging in behind your back while making you feel undesirable – it also helps them to evade any discussions about their unacceptable behavior.

29. They show no empathy for you when you’re suffering. These sadistic individuals are indifferent to your suffering; they lack empathy and some even take pleasure in seeing you suffer. The most malignant of narcissists even drive their victims to suicide.

30. They abandon you in times of illness or when you need them – even though you’ve always been there for them. This is done with a cruel and callous indifference that is unsettling. They show little to no concern for your welfare or your basic needs. They are too inherently selfish to look after you like the way you’ve looked after them.

31. They attempt to fast-forward intimacy with you without getting to know you – physically and emotionally. Whether it’s sex or your deepest secrets, toxic people try to push you to divulge and disclose early on so they can take inventory of your weak spots and exploit you.

32. They’re the fair-weather friend who’s always there when things are great but never when you need their support. When life is going well and you have everything going for you, they always seem to come around to leech off your newfound resources. When you want them to help out in an emergency or just need a listening ear, however, they’re nowhere to be found.

33. They piggyback on your success and take credit for your ideas. Toxic individuals feel they don’t have to work hard for what they want. They’d prefer to take it from others who’ve already done the work.

34. They judge your life decisions. This is done in a way that is vicious, cruel, unhelpful, excessive and unwarranted. If you feel uncertain about making decisions, you’re unable to trust yourself. Negating self-trust acts as leverage for a toxic person to step in and exercise their power over you.

35. They rarely provide emotional validation – every word out of their mouth tends to pick at your emotions. They question why you’re feeling the way you are rather than accepting it and creating space for it. By invalidating and pathologizing your emotions, they ensure that you never learn to listen to your inner guidance.

36. They cry crocodile tears when they need something or as faux remorse. Otherwise, they’re rarely emotional. In fact, most of the time, you can’t even sense fear, anxiety, or empathy from them.

37. They “hoover” you after mistreating you. Like a hoover vacuum, they suck you back into their toxic vortex even after the ending of the relationship, friendship or partnership. They do so by contacting you out of the blue just when you’re finally moving on. Once they get what they want from you, they leave and you may not hear from them from quite some time. At least, not unless they need you for something else, in which case, they tend to come crawling back.

38. They use you for your resources but are stingy with their own. Money, shelter, sex, social networks – they want access to all of yours. However, when it comes to their own resources and connections, they tend to be a lot more reserved.

39. They withhold acknowledgment and appreciation. You could bend over backwards fulfilling each and every one of their requests, and still not feel appreciated by them. They don’t appreciate what you do for them, but they keep you around to keep tapping into whatever it is you’re providing.

40. They’re conversational narcissists, constantly talking about themselves and rarely asking how you’re doing. When you finally try to get a word in, suddenly they’re cold and unresponsive. Or, they turn the conversation back to themselves.

41. They gossip about people and engage in relational aggressionThey enjoy pitting people against one another. They like spreading rumors. They thrive off of excluding people and socially ostracizing those they feel threaten their power or evoke their envy. They assassinate your character both publicly and privately (the latter ensures you don’t catch on). They want to feel like they are the ones in control of managing everyone’s image so that they come out on top.

42. They recruit allies or flying monkeys to enable their behavior and carry out some of their dirty work for them. They wouldn’t want to get caught – so they keep their hands clean and allow their harem members to support them instead.

43. They spread misinformation about you and spread smear campaigns to undercut your credibility. This way, if you ever speak out about their behavior, fewer people would believe you.

44. They covertly and overtly insult you. This includes harsh remarks disguised as “jokes,” backhanded compliments, and needless comparisons that diminish you. Victims of toxic people tend to struggle with self-doubt and ruminations over these insults, and it’s no wonder why. These insults become ingrained in your psyche and lead to self-sabotage.

45. They withhold affection – for no apparent reason. Most people withdraw from being affectionate due to some sort of conflict. Toxic people do it so they can play puppeteer to your emotions.

46. They use sex to degradeobjectify and control you rather than as a way to connect with you. Sex is a power play to them, another instrument to feed their grandiose fantasies.

47. They stonewall you and shut down conversations before they’ve even had the chance to begin. That way, you never get to have a voice in the relationship. Your desires or basic needs never even enter the picture.

48. They idealize youputting you on a pedestal, only to devalue the same qualities they once praised. Throwing you off the pedestal has the effect of making you work hard to get back on it. Meanwhile, they sit back, relax, and enjoy the show of making you pine for their approval.

49. They discard you once they’re done with you and quickly move onto another replacement, triangulating you with others to make you feel unworthy – and to compel you to compete for their attention.

50. They constantly shift the goal posts so what you do or who you are is perceived to never be enough.

“I Love You” From The Perspective Of A Narcissist

Jasmine

To this disenchanted generation, ‘I Love You’ are worn out words. They’re said too much but not enough. They mean different things in different contexts, but they always carry a special significance.

Sometimes, the words are said by people who don’t fully grasp their meaning, by those who are completely self-absorbed, people who cannot love anyone other than themselves.

We all have encountered such dangerously toxic people in our lives, whose definition of love is control and obsession instead of care and understanding. If you have been unfortunate enough to be loved by a narcissist, you will definitely relate to this letter written from the perspective of someone incapable of thinking beyond themselves.

“Dear Codependent Partner,

I will never say these words to you in reality because if I did it would reveal how I deliberately exploit the world for the only thing I care about – my benefit. Since I only care about myself, I need you to carry all the load of the relationship while I reap the benefits of it.

When I say I love you, I really do mean it though. I love how hard you work for me. I love that I have forced you to compromise about everything to keep me happy. I love that you do everything for me but you have given up expecting me to return that courtesy.

I love that I have the power to reduce you to tears, make you feel small and insignificant, and gloat in how powerful that makes me feel. I know you let me walk over you, and I keep pulling you down so that you don’t realize you deserve a lot better than what I give you.

I love how I can blame you for gas-lighting or just call you crazy when you bring up things I don’t want to discuss. Also, I love that I can keep expecting more and more from you while you keep lowering your expectations of me. It makes my life so easy when you let me walk all over you!

I love how I can take your innocence and kindness for granted, using it for my thrill and pleasure. I love how I can always keep all your focus on alleviating my pain and discomfort. Nothing ever is enough; I don’t feel loved enough, respected, admired and cared for enough. And all of this misery I dump on you to fix.

It is not that I don’t know that you need support, love and care; I just don’t think it is as important as my feelings. I am the priority for the both of us, and that is really all I want. It is never about the closeness, empathy or connection you want. It is never about how I hurt you. It is always about how I can control you and make you feel like you are not doing enough.

I am superior to you, and I love you as one loves a precious possession. You are just like all the other nice things I want to own and I love the envy others feel when they see you on my arm.

Since I am constantly hurting others, my brain suffers from self-loathing 24/7. This is why I love spending time with you. I love feeding off your emotional support, and I love hating you for needing you constantly. I love blaming you for my own narcissistic tendencies.

I love you because I am scared and tired of the self-loathing inside me. All the feelings I am too scared to have, the neediness, the emotions, everything I call you weak and crazy for, makes me love you because I feed off of you. I love you because I can treat you like a punching bag when that deep weak part of me threatens to open up. You keep all of it at bay and I take you for granted because I hate that I need you as much as I do.

Of course the day you realize all of this, you will leave me. So, I will never tell you, and I will always keep you hoping that I will become a better person, but in reality I never will. Only if you walk away from me, will my complacency ever get displaced. The day you stop caring, I will fall and I will learn my lesson. Yet I know that day will never come, because I keep you so tangled up in my concerns that you can never think about yours. And that is just perfect for me.

With my endless self-love,

Your Narcissist Other.”

This letter is of course fictional, and a true narcissist would never be this candid even to himself. But if you have had a toxic partner in your life, you will know how important this kind of honesty is to help you forgive yourself and move on.

Source: simplecapacity.com

Narcissists always need to be at the center of everybody’s attention. They boast, they brag, and they tell exaggerated stories so that they can be at the forefront of peoples’ minds.

What makes them worse, is that they’ve been working on their methods for years, which makes their lies harder to spot.

They often mix full-blown lies with truths and half-truths so that they can get away with things more easily.

Narcissists have no capacity for empathy, understanding, or validation, but they’ve worked hard in order to fake it.

If you’ve been around a narcissist before, you already know how infuriating it can be just to have a simple conversation; they couldn’t possibly care any less about what you’re saying.

Here are four things that a narcissist will always do to be the center of attention.

1. They Play the Blame Game

Narcissists will never miss an opportunity to make someone look worse than they are.

If a narcissist has the chance to make someone look bad, while elevating their own status in the process, they will always take it.

They constantly blame people for things that may not be their fault, and then when drama ensues, they’ll justify themselves by continuing to blame people for any issues that have occurred as a result.

2. They Reverse Roles

Narcissists are masters at conversation and manipulation; they understand just exactly how to twist a conversation around so that they look better in the eyes of people around them.

Not only will they be able to turn the conversation, but they’ll be able to manipulate you into taking responsibility for the sudden and abrupt turn of events.

Meanwhile, they look like the victim, and you’re left wondering what just happened.

3. They Play the Victim

Although narcissists don’t have the capacity for empathy or understanding, they don’t underestimate their power.

Usually, a narcissist will take underserved pity at the expense of another, who most likely deserves the pity in the first place.

This is a classic manipulation tactic that narcissists spend their lives working to perfection.

4. They Interrupt

Since a narcissist has to be at the center of attention, they will interrupt any conversation that doesn’t pertain to them directly.

Alternatively, if someone interrupts a narcissist in order to redirect the conversation, they will be rendered to silence as quickly as possible.

If this fails, the narcissist will perceive this person to be a threat to the most important thing in the world: themselves.

Anxiety Disorders Typically Caused by Exposure to Narcissistic Abuse

Anxiety Disorders Typically Caused by Exposure to Narcissistic Abuse

By admin

Overt abuse techniques commonly used on preferred scapegoat targets by Cluster B people tend to cause physical health issues for victims of people who are socially aggressive, violent, and foster a complex atmosphere of Ambient Abuse in any social environment they have the opportunity to influence.

The most common targets for social abuse are highly sensitive and emotionally intelligent people who are by nature prone to behaving like humanists. People who are of lesser social means (meaning less socially powerful or influential) are also likely targets, too.

If you live in a home where abuse is prevalent, expect your health to decline and your self-conception to suffer. Being told all the time YOU are the problem for reacting to abuse in ways that are actually emotionally intelligent and PHYSICALLY appropriate tends to cause victim self-identity to suffer.

If you feel like you are unsure whether you over-react to abuse or you are justified in being upset when you are lied to, conned by a love fraud, are cheated on, are beaten or sexually assaulted, threatened with murder, etcetera… your mind and body are already experiencing symptoms of extreme C-PTSD.

Chances are you are likely to be developing a  form of Stockholm Syndrome based on trauma bonding with your Abuser.  When and if a trauma bond forms, the biology of the human form does a couple of things.

First of all — if you are healthy and sane, you will tend to trust your own eyes and ears as well as sanity. If you catch a partner cheating, for instance, but they blame YOU? Or an Enabler tries to convince you that your abuser loves you in their own way? Or they tell you that physical assault is for your own good?

Seriously — if you believe them you are already likely to be living with adrenal fatigue and heightened forms of pervasive social anxiety soon.

The following list of anxiety disorder types was compiled by the Mayo Clinic. The healthcare organization describes many of the most common conditions as follows

• Agoraphobia (ag-uh-ruh-FOE-be-uh) is a type of anxiety disorder in which you fear and often avoid places or situations that might cause you to panic and make you feel trapped, helpless or embarrassed.

• Anxiety disorder due to a medical condition includes symptoms of intense anxiety or panic that are directly caused by a physical health problem.

• Generalized anxiety disorder includes persistent and excessive anxiety and worry about activities or events — even ordinary, routine issues. The worry is out of proportion to the actual circumstance, is difficult to control and affects how you feel physically. It often occurs along with other anxiety disorders or depression.

• Panic disorder involves repeated episodes of sudden feelings of intense anxiety and fear or terror that reach a peak within minutes (panic attacks). You may have feelings of impending doom, shortness of breath, chest pain, or a rapid, fluttering or pounding heart (heart palpitations). These panic attacks may lead to worrying about them happening again or avoiding situations in which they’ve occurred.

• Selective mutism is a consistent failure of children to speak in certain situations, such as school, even when they can speak in other situations, such as at home with close family members. This can interfere with school, work and social functioning.

• Separation anxiety disorder is a childhood disorder characterized by anxiety that’s excessive for the child’s developmental level and related to separation from parents or others who have parental roles.

• Social anxiety disorder (social phobia) involves high levels of anxiety, fear and avoidance of social situations due to feelings of embarrassment, self-consciousness and concern about being judged or viewed negatively by others.

• Specific phobias are characterized by major anxiety when you’re exposed to a specific object or situation and a desire to avoid it. Phobias provoke panic attacks in some people.

• Substance-induced anxiety disorder is characterized by symptoms of intense anxiety or panic that are a direct result of abusing drugs, taking medications, being exposed to a toxic substance or withdrawal from drugs.

• Other specified anxiety disorder and unspecified anxiety disorder are terms for anxiety or phobias that don’t meet the exact criteria for any other anxiety disorders but are significant enough to be distressing and disruptive.

Folks who actively abuse and enable other abusers love telling their abuse victims that they are somehow socially, emotionally, and intellectually deficient. They are huge fans of abusing the crap out of their target, then when caught or confronted about their behavior choices they love nothing more than playing the victim.

The more extreme the personality disorder the more likely social predators are to enjoy harming or humiliating and dominating other people.

Not only do they expect their willing Narcissistic Supply Sources to consistently play SUB-servant, they wholeheartedly expect and demand total obedience from any preferred scapegoat they like to claim ownership of and to toy with psychologically and emotionally on a regular basis.

People who get trapped* in the CYCLE OF NARCISSISTIC ABUSE tend to know something is not right with the claims the Cluster B person makes, but unless they are well educated about things like how to spot the warning signs of a Cluster B pack or egocentric Abuser, love fraud tactics, and are made aware of verbal abuse and mind control tactics, predators make incredible logical fallacy statements and appeals to emotion that sound — at least plausible — to an unaware listener.

If a target makes the mistake of reverse projecting and presumes that all human beings — INCLUDING CLUSTER B PEOPLE AND VERTICAL THINKERS — have the same core values as roughly 75-80% of the global human population, that is the instant chaos manufactures or pot stirrers have the ability to start mind assaulting trouble.

People who are exposed to physical abuse, sexual assault, verbal assaults of a poignant or pervasive nature, financial abuse, social persecution, and the word choices of dehumanizers seeking to sadistically or callously persecute tend to develop extreme social anxiety, pervasive stress related illnesses, and extreme confusion over knowing they are good folks in their heart and mind but hear constant ad hominem attacks against themselves by bullies and manipulators all the time.

If you are being harassed, bullied, messed with at work, are being picked on by family members who display Cluster B behaviors, an ex has done some crappy thing like tried to smear campaign, or worse…

Or you are feeling the literal weight of an angry and hostile narcissistic led faction world…

You are not alone in suspecting being around mean people can damage your health. Verbal assault can lead directly to neurological damage to the part of the brain that houses complex emotional reasoning centers and the body fatigues and organ function is medically depleted by the fear-induced surge of toxic adrenal chemicals.

Seriously.

Life-threatening illness tends to develop in humans who feel TRAPPED by an Abuser (unable to flee) or who are held hostage by toxic thinkers seeking to silence and oppress their scapegoats, targets, and control the fear-based psychology of their toys as well as any collateral damage victims.

[Abusers tend to rage at anyone who offers one of their preferred scapegoat targets humanitarian aid or social support. Doing so tends to produce the effect of socially isolating their targeted victim while humiliating and truly frightening them further when and if people passively choose to stay out of it or to enable, leaving the target even more vulnerable to further pervasive overt (as well as extreme covert) situational abuse. ]

The more healthcare workers start to realize if a patient presents with stress illness and psychiatric symptoms that the patient is more than likely showing physical signs of complex psychological and emotional duress more than likely being caused by ongoing exposure to Narcissistic Abuse or an Ambient Abuse promoting environment, the sooner human beings of neurotypical nature are likely to be able to end the healthcare crisis beginning to plague most modern nations.

SOURCE: http://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/anxiety/symptoms-causes/dxc-20168124

What Matters Most in Your Life

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What Comes First in Your Life?

Do you  value love most? God is love. By putting God first, everything else will fall into place. We will best love and support ourselves, our family and our friends. By choosing love, we put God first. He is a light in the darkness, our helper in the storm. If we seek Him first, He will help us and show us how to love others and how to take care of ourselves.

God loves us more than we can imagine and only wants the best for us. God does not cause bad things to happen. We live in a lost and broken world plagued with darkness. The good news is that light has overcome the darkness. This is not our home. and as the song says, “We are just taking the long way home”  (Steven Curtis Chapman-lyrics) There is something better. God sees the whole story beginning to end and He has defeated death. We only need to have faith. We can never earn His love. We are all broken in our own way. No one is perfect and God doesn’t expect us to be.

However, He knows our heart and true motives. If we honestly pursue God first and want His will for our lives, He will use all things for good. That terrible heartache, health problem, broken relationship, addiction, or other struggle is nothing compared to the power of God. In order to use that power to be an overcomer, we must have faith and rely on God’s strength to pull us through. We will never make it on our own.

I am going though a really hard time right now. After a while with stable moods, my bipolar disorder  is causing major issues in my life. My previously helpful medication and treatment plan have not worked to push this mania away. It crept up over a year ago. There have been ups and downs, but for the most part I have been hypomanic. Stress and other triggers cause it to flare up. This is the case these last few weeks. I am battling anxiety, struggling to sleep, my mind is scattered, memory disabled, and thoughts are constantly racing.  Although I try to contain them, my words keep spilling out. I try to do what I know works. I set A schedule, try and get enough sleep, prioritize tasks, spend time with God, and avoid triggers such as caffine. If I suddenly get the urge to organize everything, I need to step back and think about my thinking. Why do I suddenly have a desire to do the chores I usually put off because I dislike them so much?

I know I need to put God first. They only way for me to get better is to rely on Him. He loves me and wants what is best for me. When my mind is scattered and I struggle to make good choices. God leads me along the right path and carries me when I am too week to walk.

God also helps me through others. My family loves and supports me. I try to listen to their advice and accept their help. Normally, I try  to do everything myself. Obviously that has not worked. I need to let go of my pride and take care of myself. I know I will come through this and be better for it. My pain serves A purpose and I will persevere!

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How Do We Put God

First, ask God to help you put him, ask him to help you see what to do, and to guide your steps

Have faith that God keep His promises. You are loved more than you know. You are forgiven through grace. Trust that He wants what is best for you and that if you rely on Him, you will overcome your struggles and find true joy.

Eliminating obstacles such as, desires for fortune and fame, work overload, addiction, or other temptations by confessing them to God.

In place of sin, struggle, and heartache, we are to rely fully on Christ. We do this by being accountable to a Godly friend, spending time in God’s Word and prayer every day, attending and becoming involved with church worship regularly, and listening to Godly music and messages are a few ways to put on Christ. A little bit of sin can add up to making provision for the flesh, so putting on Christ will add up to making provision for the Holy Spirit.

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Prayer: You are Holy, Lord. Thank you for the Blood of Jesus to wash us and cleanse us from sin. As a born again believer I ask You to help me to put off these things that hinder my life from being completely surrendered to You and show me the ways to put on Christ so that I may please You. Amen.

“Long Way Home”
by Steven Curtis Chapman | from the album re:creation

I set out on a great adventure
The day my Father started leading me home
Said theres gonna be mountians to climb
And valleys were gonna go through

But I had no way of knowing
Just how hard this journey could be
Cause the mountians are steeper
And the valleys are deeper than I ever would had dreamed

But I know were gonna make it
And I know were gonna get there soon
And I know sometimes it seems like, were going the wrong way
But its just the long way home

Some rocks on my shoes
Fears I wish I could lose
That make the mountians so hard to climb
And my heart gets so heavy with the weight of the world sometimes

There’s a bag of regrets,
Should’ve beens, and not yets
That keep on dragging around
And I can hardly wait till the day I get to lay them all down

I know that day is coming
I know its gonna be here soon
I won’t turn back even if the whole world says I’m going the wrong way
Cause its just the long way home

When we cant take another step
The Father will pick us up and carry us in His arms
And even on the best days, He says to remember were not home yet
So don’t get too comfortable
Cause we are just pilgrams passing through

I know that day is coming
I know were gonna be there soon
I keep on singing and believing
What all of my songs say

Cause our God has made a promise
And I know everything He says is true
He promised He would never ever leave us
He’s gonna lead us
He’ll lead us home

Every single step of the long way home
So keep on, were gonna make it
Were just taking the long way home
So keep on, were gonna make it
I know, were gonna make it
Its just the long way home

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