Tag Archives: mental health

When God Doesn’t Move the Mountain

Why can’t I  stop pulling my hair?

Why do I still have manic episodes?

Why does this cloud of depression try to consume me?

 I know God can heal me. The creator of the universe can do anything. So I wonder, will He ever heal me? I pray and pray and try to fight through His strength. Some days are better than others, but the bottom line is that these strongholds are the anchors trying to drag me down.  I am the child of the one true King and nothing the devil throws at me will change my unwavering faith and love for my God, my Savior, and my closest Friend.

Through my most recent manic episode that lasted about four months, I have begged for healing.  Through my prayers and seeking God through His Word, I keep getting the same message.  There is a purpose for my pain. God will use me and my struggles in His time. I know His plans are perfect and He is preparing me for what lies ahead.

In 2 Corinthians, Paul talks about his disability. Paul is the guy with an insurmountable faith. He commanded people to be healed in the name of Jesus, and they were healed instantly. He told a demon to flee simply  because he was annoyed, and the demon fled. Paul clearly lacks no faith. He’s the guy that could say to a mountain, “move,” and it would have to move. He says:

“…I was given the gift of a handicap to keep me in constant touch with my limitations. Satan’s angel did his best to get me down; what he in fact did was push me to my knees. No danger then of walking around high and mighty! At first I didn’t think of it as a gift, and begged God to remove it. Three times I did that, and then He told me,

‘My grace is enough; it’s all you need. My strength comes into its own in your weakness.’

Once I heard that, I was glad to let it happen. I quit focusing on the handicap and began appreciating the gift.”  {2 Corinthians 12:7-12}

The poster child of faith could not pray his own disability away. Three times he prayed, using a level of faith that is hard to wrap my mind around…and God still said no. God wanted Paul to rely on His grace to make it through, not on Paul’s own ability. God wanted to bring Paul to his knees so that he would have to rely on Him to get by.

But sometimes God says no.

You don’t have to tell yourself that the faith you just tried so hard to muster up, so intensely that it made you physically sick, wasn’t enough. That if you could just try a little harder, you could make God change the situation. That you could somehow control God.

Because, surprisingly, it’s incredibly comforting to know that God can say no. And he does, often. There’s strength in knowing we can’t control His decisions, and that the outcome does not always, in fact, depend on our level of faith.

And there’s strength in knowing that sometimes God doesn’t move the mountains, simply because He wants us to rely on Him to climb them.


Through the Eyes of a Lion

TTEOAL_2_InstagramQuote_1.jpgLet’s Welcome the Light and Gain a New Perspective on Our Pain

Levi Lusko has used his pain to produce this powerful message. I consider the sword of the spirit (the bible) to be one of my most powerful weapons against the enemy in  my battle with bipolar disorder and trichotillomania. In his biblically based book, Levi explains that our suffering is an opportunity for us to to be used like never before.
Our biggest struggles are also the places where we can help others the most. Living through the pain gives us a unique perspective to help others through the same troubles we have. I think one of the biggest problems people have with Christianity is the question of why would a loving God allow such heartache to happen. God does not allow evil, it is part of our sinful world in which we have free will to choose how we live. God hates to see us suffer, but He allows pain to enter our life for a purpose. He uses our pain to help us grow deeper roots in faith and shows you how to help others who are suffering in a similar way. It is a powerful testimony.


Suffering is not an obstacle to you being used by God. It is an opportunity for you to be used like never before.

Levi uses the famous quote from Aaïs Nin, “we don’t see things as they are, we see them as we are”  to show that the world is not fixed in some pattern. It can be viewed from many different points and it changes according to who is watching it.


There is a two part sermon series that goes along with this book. I am posting the sermon notes below along with a link to the sermon.

Lc tteoal pp title

An Important piece in the armor of God in my battle plan for My current mania

Sword of the Spirit

The Word of God  – When we are tempted, the most effective weapon that God has given to us as believers is the sword of the Spirit, which is the Word of God. Jesus modeled this so beautifully during His temptation in the wilderness. When the devil tried temptation after temptation against Him, Jesus used the sword of the Spirit. Jesus spoke the Word of God to Satan. In Luke 4:1-13, Jesus responded, “It is written, ‘You shall worship the Lord God only. Him only you shall serve.” and again brought the Scripture back into context, “It has been said, ‘You shall not tempt the Lord your God.’”

Key Scripture

That is why we never give up. Though our bodies are dying, our spirits are being renewed every day. For our present troubles are small and won’t last very long. Yet they produce for us a glory that vastly outweighs them and will last forever! So we don’t look at the troubles we can see now; rather, we fix our gaze on things that cannot be seen. For the things we see now will soon be gone, but the things we cannot see will last forever.
2 Corinthians 4:16-18 NLT

Key Thought

Suffering is not an obstacle to you being used by God, it is an opportunity for you to be used like never before.

How to See through the Eyes of a Lion

  1. Don’t rely on the naked eye.
  2. Train for the trial you’re not yet in.
  3. Let God use your pain.

More Scripture

Ephesians 1:17-19Colossians 3:2Psalm 34:151 Samuel 16:7

Start talking. Find a conversation starter for your group.

  • Pastor Levi talked about the 1990’s for a second. So, about the 90’s … want them back, or glad they’re gone?
  • What did Pastor Levi say that you’re still thinking about?

Start thinking. Ask a thoughtful question.

  • Read 2 Corinthians 4:16-18. Do you give more energy and focus to “seen” earthly struggles or “unseen” eternal things?
  • Think of one of the worst things that’s happened to you. How does the depth of its impact compare to the length of eternity? How often do you consider eternity?

Start sharing. Choose questions that create openness.

  • Read Ephesians 1:17-19. Pastor Levi described how lions’ eyes don’t get more light, they fully use what’s there. What’s blocking light, or hindering your vision?
  • Where do you think you’d be weakest in a trial? How will you train for a trial you’re not yet in?
  • What God-given insight or opportunity might your eyes be opened to because of pain you’ve experienced?
  • Have you seen past pain turn into opportunity? Can you share your story?

Start praying. Be bold, and pray with power.

Heavenly Father, we want to see our pain through Your eyes, through the eyes of a Lion. Help us fix our eyes on the length of eternity and the strength of Your Holy Spirit living in us. Show us how You are turning our pain into power for Your purpose. Amen!

Start doing. Commit to a step and live it out this week.

  • Choose a painful moment and ask to see it from God’s perspective. Each day, ask the Holy Spirit to show you the opportunities you now have.
  • Ask God to help you see the unseen this week. Make note of any time you sense Him expanding your vision. Come ready to share next week.
  • Read Pastor Levi’s Bible Plan: www.go2.lc/eyesofalion

Get this in your inbox. Visit go2.lc/emailme



Battling Bipolar Mania


Racing mind never stops
Thoughts run out
In uncontrollable speech
driving others mad

I see myself causing anxiety
But am unable to stop
I prefer depression
No one knows what is going on inside

My mania overflows and
Cannot be contained within
Fully exposed and vulnerable
Unable cope with life

Forever writing lists and setting alarms
Help me focus despite my desire to accomplish
Every random thought that pops into my mind
I get a LOT done, but
My long disorganized process
Concerns everyone around me and
distracts me from pressing responsibilities

I don’t know what to do
It’s never been this bad

God please take this!
Heal me help me
Strengthen me
I know you are there
and will not give me more
than I can take so you
Must think I’m pretty strong



Taking the mask off describes my experience with the stigma of mental illness so well. In our society we feel the need to hide our true selves as we would not be accepted for who we are. People who do have not experienced mental illness do not understand, and often think it is all in our heads. Going to therapy and taking medication show weakness. For trichotillomania there is an extreme stigma. “You pull your hair out, why don’t you just stop?”. Yes, if it was that easy do you really think 4% of the population would be doing this!? Geez it’s not like I want to spent my time pulling, thinking about pulling, trying not to pull, and hiding my pulling. If everyone had a little more compassion, this world would be a lot different.

Never judge a person until you’ve walk a mile in their shoes.

I blog about my personal struggle with trichotillomania and bipolar disorder. I also discuss helpful strategies, reflections, and treatments.

Discovering Your Happiness

Your mind is powerful, it can heal you as much as it can harm you.

My Exaggerated Life

Based on actual events.

Trichotillomania Weblog

Personal stories from those with experience of trichotillomania - pulling out hair.

A Great Work

...and I cannot come down (Nehemiah 6:3)



Motivation & Personality development

This site is for Personality development & Motivation

A Bipolars Reality

Where Being Bipolar is Real

The Bipolar Compass

It's OK to feel lost every once in a while

Pieces of Bipolar

One of a kind bipolar II rapid cycling navigating the world one day at a time

The Depressed Christian

The Depressed Christian


My life as a psychologist

Light Play ~ Evolution

we are fish that play in a sea of light

My bipolar soul

A 20-something wannabe writers blog giving an honest account of what it's really like living with Bipolar II

My experience with Bipolar Disorder.

Daily blogs about my daily life.

Bipoblogger's Blog

Bipolar Disorder, Dysfunction and Recovery

Counting Green Stars

Exploring a spectrum of possibilities

The Seeds 4 Life

Seeds of Inspiration, Wisdom, and Positivity

Rationalising The Universe

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