Tag Archives: motivation

Unconditional Love

Jesus loves me unconditionally. Therefore, I have not earned His love nor could I earn His love. I cannot be separated from His love.

When I obey Him, God will bless me. When I disobey Him, there will be consequences. Jesus may not like my behavior, but He always loves me.

Because I have experienced God’s love, I know that I am lovable. I know there are people who could love me too. Therefore, I am able to trust people who love me. I am confident in my worth based on the love of Jesus.

from Beauty for Ashes by Joyce Meyer

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God Help Me

Where does my help come from?

How do I heal and move forward?

Am I strong enough to overcome this?

I am going though a really hard time right now. After a while with stable moods, my bipolar disorder  is causing major issues in my life.

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My previously helpful medication and treatment plan have not worked to push this mania away. It crept up over a year ago. There have been ups and downs, but for the most part I have been hypomanic. Stress and other triggers cause it to flare up. This is the case these last few weeks. I am battling anxiety, struggling to sleep, my mind is scattered, memory disabled, and thoughts are constantly racing.  Although I try to contain them, my words keep spilling out.

I try to do what I know works. I set A schedule, try and get enough sleep, prioritize tasks, spend time with God, and avoid triggers such as caffine. If I suddenly get the urge to organize everything, I need to step back and think about my thinking. Why do I suddenly have a desire to do the chores I usually put off because I dislike them so much?

I know I need to put God first. They only way for me to get better is to rely on Him. He loves me and wants what is best for me. When my mind is scattered and I struggle to make good choices. God leads me along the right path and carries me when I am too week to walk.

God also helps me through others. My family loves and supports me. I try to listen to their advice and accept their help. Normally, I try  to do everything myself. Obviously that has not worked. I need to let go of my pride and take care of myself. I know I will come through this and be better for it. My pain serves A purpose and I will persevere!

What Comes First in Your Life?

Do you  value love most? God is love. By putting God first, everything else will fall into place. We will best love and support ourselves, our family and our friends. By choosing love, we put God first. He is a light in the darkness, our helper in the storm. If we seek Him first, He will help us and show us how to love others and how to take care of ourselves.

God loves us more than we can imagine and only wants the best for us. God does not cause bad things to happen. We live in a lost and broken world plagued with darkness. The good news is that light has overcome the darkness. This is not our home. and as the song says, “We are just taking the long way home”  (Steven Curtis Chapman-lyrics) There is something better. God sees the whole story beginning to end and He has defeated death. We only need to have faith. We can never earn His love. We are all broken in our own way. No one is perfect and God doesn’t expect us to be.

However, He knows our heart and true motives. If we honestly pursue God first and want His will for our lives, He will use all things for good. That terrible heartache, health problem, broken relationship, anxiety, depression, addiction, or other struggle give you a power you did have before. We grow through our pain and our character is strengthened in the hard times. We are overcomes. Mandisa says it best in her song Overcomer

Staring at a stop sign
Watching people drive by
T mac on the radio
Got so much on your mind
Nothing’s really going right
Looking for a ray of hope
Whatever it is you may be going through
I know he’s not gonna let it get the best of you
You’re an overcomer
Stay in the fight ’til the final round
You’re not going under
‘Cause God is holding you right now
You might be down for a moment
Feeling like it’s hopeless
That’s when he reminds you
That you’re an overcomer
You’re an overcomer
Everybody’s been down
Hit the bottom, hit the ground
Ooh, You’re not alone
Just take a breath, don’t forget
Hang on to his promises
He wants you to know
You’re an overcomer
Stay in the fight ’til the final round
You’re not going under
‘Cause God is holding you right now
You might be down for a moment
Feeling like it’s hopeless
That’s when he reminds you
That you’re an overcomer
You’re an overcomer
The same man, the great I am
The one who overcame death
Is living inside of you
So just hold tight, fix your eyes
On the one who holds your life
There’s nothing he can’t do
He’s telling you
You’re an overcomer
Stay in the fight ’til the final round
You’re not going under
‘Cause God is holding you right now
You might be down for a moment
Feeling like it’s hopeless
That’s when he reminds you
That you’re an overcomer
You’re an overcomer
You’re an overcomer
You’re an overcomer
See don’t quit, don’t give in
You’re an overcomer
Don’t quit, don’t give in
You’re an overcomer
Don’t quit, don’t give in
You’re an overcomer
You’re an overcomer
Songwriters: Benjamin Glover / Christopher E. Stevens / David Arthur Garcia

Prayer: You are Holy, Lord. Thank you for the Blood of Jesus to wash us and cleanse us from sin. As a born again believer I ask You to help me to put off these things that hinder my life from being completely surrendered to You and show me the ways to put on Christ so that I may please You. Amen.

The Power of Faith and Prayer


“Truly I tell you, if anyone says to this mountain, ‘Go, throw yourself into the sea,’ and does not doubt in their heart but believes that what they say will happen, it will be done for them. Therefore I tell you, whatever you ask for in prayer, believe that you have received it, and it will be yours.
Mark 11:23‭-‬24 NIV

https://bible.com/bible/111/mrk.11.23-24.NIV

Persistence not Perfection

Trichy Insights

Let’s strengthen those weak muscles!  

Just persist until you are successful!

My solace tonight as I persist in my journey to recovery from trich comes from comments of some of the people on the Fairlight Bulletin Board posted on Amanda’s Trichotillomania Guide.

Definition of Success

I just wanted to add another observation to all that has been said about making a commitment to not pulling. Think of it as exercise. When I started walking a couple of months ago, I thought a mile was forever. Now that I’ve been walking regularly, my stamina has increased, and a mile goes by quickly. I can’t run a marathon (yet!), but I am stronger. In the same way, as we practice not pulling, we’re building “muscles” that make it easier not to pull. The first couple of weeks are horrible, but then it gets easier–if you persist. I’ve slipped a couple of times…

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Happy to be Alive

While you wake up today, someone is taking their last breathe. “Thank God for another day and don’t waste it!

As recommended by Joyce Meyer in my “prayer bootcamp” that I started April 1st, Every morning I wake and the first thing I say is, “I will rejoice for this is the day the Lord has made. ”

Just the fact that I woke up and I am alive is a miracle. On top of that, I have even more for which I am thankful. To name a few:my family (I love you all!!!), our health, our safety, love, a God sent home that is a perfect fit for our family, a ‘new’ van, and a camp where our children can go to see their grandparents almost any weekend that is an ‘instant vacation’. It is an amazingly peaceful campsite on the river. It is cut off from civilization and technology (if you can leave your smartphone in your pocket Chelsea…). This really helps me focus on God and my family, which are #1 and #2 in my life. I can’t wait for our first camping trip this Memorial Day weekend.

Long post, but I’m feeling thankful this morning. There are many more reasons that I am thankful, but I could sit hear all day and list them (which I plan to do in my ongoing conversation with God today). I never put an amen at the end because it’s like a text message that keeps going. Do you say bye each time you type something to your friend? No, not usually unless it’s ‘extra important’ ;). It’s the same idea here. ❤

Don’t Stop

Never give up, don’t stop trying.This is easier said than done, but very important in recovery.  Last night my eyelashes were really bothering me.  This agitation had been building for days.  There was one that was especially bad.  In a moment of weakness, I impulsively took off my band-aide and plucked out that pesky lash.  It was felt great for a second until reality caught up with me and I realized I gave in, again.  This seems to be the pattern of my life..do good for a bit and then it all comes tumbling down with one hair.   I stopped myself for a few minutes and went back to watching a movie. As usually is the case, I did not stop at one hair. In a growing frenzy, I quickly undid my 11 days of hard work and was left feeling a mix of relief and extreme disappointment.  I went to bed vowing to start fresh in the morning.  At least I had not touched my scalp so I had that to hold onto.

My daughter woke me up this next morning asking if we could go to church.  She loves church and is always my encouragement to go.  I love it once I’m there, but getting myself out the door always seems daunting.  It had been months since we last went to church.  My service offers an online version, which I often choose over actually going to church.  I hate going out in public, which is in large part due to my trich.  The worse my pulling, the more reluctant I am to go out.  I feel self conscious and hate the long process of hiding my pulling.

I get to church and find a new sermon series titled, “Don’t Stop” had started.   The main idea is that obstacles and trials will come and go, but one thing can always remain constant on your journey. Good things happen when we don’t stop trying, even when it seems like our efforts are getting us no where.  Each step matters in the scheme of recovery and each day you keep trying, keep fighting, is another day closer to the goal.  I will post the link for the sermon below.  I highly recommend taking some time to watch the message.  It put my struggle into perspective and was very inspiring.

Life Church-Don’t Stop Part 1

The finish line. The goal. What are you working toward? Obstacles and trials will come and go, but one thing can always remain constant on your journey. Keep your eyes on the prize because good things happen when you Don’t Stop.

http://live.lifechurch.tv/

Reflections: Struggles

Life isn’t about waiting for the storm to pass…it’s about learning to dance in the rain. ~ Vivian Greene

Struggle is an innate aspect of the human experience.  Difficult situations happen every day, whether related to the stressors of daily life, or to particular struggles such as skin picking or hair pulling.  If you suffer from Dermatillomania or Trichotillomania you are no stranger to difficulties.  But how you respond to any challenging situation is a choice.

People often tell themselves things like, “Life is so stressful all the time.  I can’t possibly work on changing my behavior until things calm down.”  But the simple truth is that life will continue to endlessly bring you more challenges, and if you are waiting for life to calm down before you make changes, you will likely have a very long wait.  Ultimately, telling yourself that you need to wait before making an effort to change is the same as saying “I can’t”.  This kind of negative self-talk only increases feelings of helplessness and hopelessness, and feeds into “the storm”.

Struggles are all around us, and suffering with Skin Picking Disorder or Trichotillomania certainly adds an extra layer of difficulty to life.  Given this truth, you are better served by accepting the existence of all of the difficulties that life presents to you, and choosing more effective ways of responding to them.  For many, the mere idea of being willing to accept the unwanted difficulties that arise in life seems like resignation or surrender.  But to deny these struggles is to deny reality.

Everyone responds to difficulties and stressors differently.  While some learn to “dance in the rain”, others may respond with compulsive coping behaviors such as disordered eating, sex addiction, abusing drugs or alcohol…or skin picking and hair pulling.  In the short term, these and other self-destructive behaviors may serve as effective ways to avoid coping with the inevitable struggles of life.  But in the long-term, these behaviors are maladaptive, and will slowly destroy your self-image, your relationships, and your joy.

So how does one learn to “dance in the rain”?  The first step is to accept, even embrace, the storm.  It’s not going to stop, so you may as well accept its presence!   And an essential aspect of acceptance is accepting all of yourself as you are, including the existence of your unwanted urges to pick or pull.  Then your goal is to find different ways of responding to the storm – ways that include tolerating the temporary discomfort of your picking and pulling urges, without capitulating to them.

While it is certainly difficult to give up an action that initially provides comfort, gratification, and relief, doing so will better serve you in the long run.  With commitment and practice, you will gradually learn that you are capable of making these difficult changes, and you will then be dancing in the rain.

1. In what ways do you overtly or covertly tell yourself “I can’t” when faced with life’s struggles?

2. What self-destructive actions do you do when life becomes difficult?

3. What could you do differently when face with these struggles?

Tip of the week: This week, notice when you are telling yourself “I can’t”.   Challenge this self-defeating thought by gently reminding yourself that change is a process, and telling yourself “I am willing to accept that life is difficult right now, and I am doing my best.” While these may seem like minor changes, they will open you up to more acceptance, and improve your ability to change how you respond during stressful times.

Written by
Kelley Franke, BA and Tom Corboy, MFT
© 2014 OCD Center of Los Angeles

Halfway

I am halfway to my first goal.  My goal to have one month with more good days than bad days in regards to my hair pulling.  This goal, which first sounded impossible, now seems doable, easy even.  Next month, I will have to raise the bar.

I have gone 15 days without pulling from my scalp and of those 15 day I have had only 3 ‘bad’ days of pulling my lashes and/or eyebrows.  Now when I look back at those ‘bad’ days I don’t see them as failures, just reminders of why I need to stay strong, aware, and focused on my recovery.  I know that I need to follow the rules I have given myself and use the strategies I know that help.

I cannot become complacent with good enough progress, this has been my downfall in the past.  It is these hiccups along the way, that keep me focused and determined.  Over time, I know they will be less and less, but I do see the purpose and I will not loose hope or become discouraged.  Rather I choose to look at these slips as days to refocus my energy and remind myself why I am working so hard.  I know I will break free, but it will be a process.