Tag Archives: prayer

When God Doesn’t Move the Mountain

Why can’t I  stop pulling my hair?

Why do I still have manic episodes?

Why does this cloud of depression try to consume me?

 I know God can heal me. The creator of the universe can do anything. So I wonder, will He ever heal me? I pray and pray and try to fight through His strength. Some days are better than others, but the bottom line is that these strongholds are the anchors trying to drag me down.  I am the child of the one true King and nothing the devil throws at me will change my unwavering faith and love for my God, my Savior, and my closest Friend.

Through my most recent manic episode that lasted about four months, I have begged for healing.  Through my prayers and seeking God through His Word, I keep getting the same message.  There is a purpose for my pain. God will use me and my struggles in His time. I know His plans are perfect and He is preparing me for what lies ahead.

In 2 Corinthians, Paul talks about his disability. Paul is the guy with an insurmountable faith. He commanded people to be healed in the name of Jesus, and they were healed instantly. He told a demon to flee simply  because he was annoyed, and the demon fled. Paul clearly lacks no faith. He’s the guy that could say to a mountain, “move,” and it would have to move. He says:

“…I was given the gift of a handicap to keep me in constant touch with my limitations. Satan’s angel did his best to get me down; what he in fact did was push me to my knees. No danger then of walking around high and mighty! At first I didn’t think of it as a gift, and begged God to remove it. Three times I did that, and then He told me,

‘My grace is enough; it’s all you need. My strength comes into its own in your weakness.’

Once I heard that, I was glad to let it happen. I quit focusing on the handicap and began appreciating the gift.”  {2 Corinthians 12:7-12}

The poster child of faith could not pray his own disability away. Three times he prayed, using a level of faith that is hard to wrap my mind around…and God still said no. God wanted Paul to rely on His grace to make it through, not on Paul’s own ability. God wanted to bring Paul to his knees so that he would have to rely on Him to get by.

But sometimes God says no.

You don’t have to tell yourself that the faith you just tried so hard to muster up, so intensely that it made you physically sick, wasn’t enough. That if you could just try a little harder, you could make God change the situation. That you could somehow control God.

Because, surprisingly, it’s incredibly comforting to know that God can say no. And he does, often. There’s strength in knowing we can’t control His decisions, and that the outcome does not always, in fact, depend on our level of faith.

And there’s strength in knowing that sometimes God doesn’t move the mountains, simply because He wants us to rely on Him to climb them.


Never Let the Presence of a Storm Cause You to Doubt the Presence of God



God is always with us. Our hardest times are those times we need Him most. Learning to lean on Him during these storms is life changing. The hardest times in my life have actually been a blessing because they have radically changed my relationship with God. I now know I cannot make it through life without Him.

We are not built to be strong enough or good enough to do this life on our own. We are all created with a God size hole in our soul. There is only one Love, one Truth that can fill that yearning. He is the only way we can truly feel peace and joy. No amount of money, success, or fame can compare. All things of this world leave us feeling empty because we were designed to have a relationship with our creator.

I love my family and friends, but Jesus comes first. He is the only one who understands all of me. He knows my darkest secrets and deepest fears and He loves me because of the broken imperfect person I am.


In the Storm

God With Us

He’s with you through the pain. He comforts you in the waiting. When you’re anxious about your future, He gives you courage. As you climb the mountain, He keeps you safe in His arms. In every moment, we have God With Us. 🙏✝️❤️

Click the link to watch it now! 🔽

Life Church Sermon: In the Storm

Battling Bipolar Mania


Racing mind never stops
Thoughts run out
In uncontrollable speech
driving others mad

I see myself causing anxiety
But am unable to stop
I prefer depression
No one knows what is going on inside

My mania overflows and
Cannot be contained within
Fully exposed and vulnerable
Unable cope with life

Forever writing lists and setting alarms
Help me focus despite my desire to accomplish
Every random thought that pops into my mind
I get a LOT done, but
My long disorganized process
Concerns everyone around me and
distracts me from pressing responsibilities

I don’t know what to do
It’s never been this bad

God please take this!
Heal me help me
Strengthen me
I know you are there
and will not give me more
than I can take so you
Must think I’m pretty strong


Happy to be Alive

While you wake up today, someone is taking their last breathe. “Thank God for another day and don’t waste it!

As recommended by Joyce Meyer in my “prayer bootcamp” that I started April 1st, Every morning I wake and the first thing I say is, “I will rejoice for this is the day the Lord has made. ”

Just the fact that I woke up and I am alive is a miracle. On top of that, I have even more for which I am thankful. To name a few:my family (I love you all!!!), our health, our safety, love, a God sent home that is a perfect fit for our family, a ‘new’ van, and a camp where our children can go to see their grandparents almost any weekend that is an ‘instant vacation’. It is an amazingly peaceful campsite on the river. It is cut off from civilization and technology (if you can leave your smartphone in your pocket Chelsea…). This really helps me focus on God and my family, which are #1 and #2 in my life. I can’t wait for our first camping trip this Memorial Day weekend.

Long post, but I’m feeling thankful this morning. There are many more reasons that I am thankful, but I could sit hear all day and list them (which I plan to do in my ongoing conversation with God today). I never put an amen at the end because it’s like a text message that keeps going. Do you say bye each time you type something to your friend? No, not usually unless it’s ‘extra important’ ;). It’s the same idea here. ❤