The 10 Types of Narcissists, Causes & Warning Signs

Sub-Type 1: Overt vs. Covert

As I mentioned earlier, each of these major types of narcissists include sub-types that characterize how the traits may appear to others.  The first sub-type describes the methods the narcissist uses to get his or her needs met…Are they overt and use methods that are obvious and out in the open for all to see?  Or are they covert and use methods that are stealthier and more secretive?  For example, we all know that narcissists like to deliver insults and put people down.  An overt narcissist will do so in obvious and unmistakable ways, while a covert narcissist will do so in more passive-aggressive ways.  A covert narcissist can manipulate others without them knowing they were manipulated, or their tactics allow them to deny what happened.

Classic and communal narcissists are always overt, and vulnerable narcissists are always covert; however, when it comes to malignant narcissists…they can be either.

Sub-Type 2: Somatic vs. Cerebral

The second sub-type defines what the narcissist values most in him or herself and others.  No narcissist wants to be out-shined by their partner.  Their partner is viewed more like a shiny object they can show off to raise their own social status.  This sub-type includes somatic narcissists, who are obsessed with their bodies and their external appearance, and cerebral narcissists who come across as know-it-alls.  They view themselves as the most intelligent ones in the room, and like to try to impress people with their accomplishments.  Any of the four major types of narcissists – classic, vulnerable, communal or malignant – can be either somatic or cerebral.

Sub-Type 3: Inverted vs. Sadistic

The last and final sub-type includes a couple of special types of narcissists.  The first special sub-type is the inverted narcissist, which only applies to vulnerable, covert narcissists.  This group of narcissists are codependent and tend to attach themselves to other narcissists to feel special.  They tend to have a victim mindset and suffer from child abandonment issues.

The second special sub-type is the sadistic narcissist…a special type of malignant narcissist.  This group is comparable to sociopaths and psychopaths in that they take great pleasure in others’ pain.  They like humiliating and hurting people, and sometimes have bizarre sexual fetishes.

Since I love visuals, I put together the following info-graphic so you can see how the types and sub-types are all interrelated:

Causes

Now that we’ve reviewed the 10 different types of narcissists, let’s take a look at what the heck causes this personality disorder.  There is a lot of speculation out there, but the reality of it is that no one really knows.  However, I did find two different formal theories on this one…the first developed by Otto Kernberg and the second by Heinz Kohut.

I want to start by saying that children are naturally narcissistic…and this is completely normal.  Their self-esteem is regulated by external influences and they need others to admire them in order to feel good about themselves.  Thus, the reason why we, as parents, provide positive reinforcement to our children.

According to Kernberg, having an unempathetic and distant mother who is hypercritical and devalues her child causes the child to create an internalized grandiose self as a defense mechanism against the perceived lack of love and resulting emotional trauma.  He theorized that NPD is a pathological development.

Kohut, on the other hand, felt the environment alone is the major cause and that NPD was the result of arrested development in normal psychological growth.

Now, I’m not a psychologist; however, I have rubbed elbows with a lot of people who demonstrate narcissistic personality traits in my time, and I can confidently say that I have met some that have definitely had an upbringing in a home with an extremely unempathetic mother.  On the other hand, I have met narcissistic people who also have seemingly “normal” mothers and had more of a latch-key type of childhood.  The common thread from my perspective appears to be one of the child not getting his or her emotional needs met, whether that be through a hypercritical parent or a neglectful parent.

At the end of the day, it seems that there is agreement that some of the risk factors in early childhood include:

• insensitive parenting,
• unpredictable or negligent care,
• excessive criticism,
• abuse,
• trauma,
• extremely high expectations, and
• over-praising and excessive pampering, when parents focus intensely on the child’s appearance or particular talent (usually as a result of their own lack of self-esteem).

There is also speculation that abnormalities in a person’s genes may affect the connection between their brain and their behaviors.

If you are concerned you may be stuck in a relationship with or are dealing with a narcissistic ex that is endangering your children, I encourage you to reach out for help.  Schedule your FREE strategy sessionto learn strategies for communicating with your high-conflict ex.

Warning Signs

So…what are the warning signs that you may be in the presence of, or worse, in a relationship with a narcissistic individual?

Well, there are many outward signs that should get your Spidey senses tingling…

At first, they may come across as exceedingly charming and likable.  You know…that person you just couldn’t wait to see again because they made you feel so good?

However, if you dig a little deeper you might just notice that they:

• always bring the conversation back to themselves,
• tend to brag about their abilities or accomplishments,
• like to name-drop,
• are really quite superficial and are unable to truly be vulnerable…there is no such thing as a deep conversation with a true narcissist.
• are inclined to fish for compliments because of their exaggerated need for validation,
• can become hostile when criticized…even with constructive criticism,
• are perfectionistic,
• like to one-up everyone because they view themselves as superior,
• may not follow the rules because of their sense of entitlement,
• are incapable of self-reflection and unable to take responsibility for their own actions.  They like to play the “blame game”.
• are control freaks, so they tend to not communicate very well and certainly don’t work as part of a team,
• posses an obvious lack of empathy of others…they truly don’t know the meaning of the phrase “to put yourself in someone else’s shoes”.
• may be overly critical of others,
• lack boundaries, as part of their sense of entitlement,
• have a lot of superficial friends, perhaps on their social media accounts; however, they are severely lacking in close or long-term friendships or relationships.
• in general, they just leave a wake of wreckage behind them wherever they go…be it a series of broken friendships, intimate relationships gone seriously wrong, or horrible work experiences.

These are some of the outward signs you may be dealing with a narcissistic person; however, I want to dig a little deeper and look at some of the inward signals we really need to be watching out for.  In other words, how they make us feel.

As I mentioned earlier, a narcissistic person will make you feel truly special at the beginning of your relationship.  They may shower you with compliments, or take you on great adventures.  They will make you feel so good that you may just ignore some of the warning signs.

You may even start to make excuses for their poor behavior…”he must have just had a bad day.”  Or…”wow, that person must have really hurt her.”  Or you may even take it on yourself…”I must have misunderstood.”

After you’re completely drawn in, the narcissist in your life is going to start changing it up and become manipulative.  It will be subtle at first, but over time, you will start doubting yourself and may even find yourself living in a fog of confusion.  You may feel like you just aren’t good enough and can’t do anything right.  Your self-esteem will be stripped away and you will be forever walking on eggshells trying to appease the person who once made you feel incredibly special.

If you are concerned you may be stuck in a relationship with or are dealing with a narcissistic ex that is endangering your children, I encourage you to reach out for help.  Schedule your FREE strategy sessionto learn strategies for communicating with your high-conflict ex.

That’s it for my lengthy Part 1 in this 3-part blog series about the ins-and-outs of narcissistic personality disorder.  Stay tuned for Part 2, where I will be sharing all the different coping mechanisms that narcissists use to protect their fragile egos.

Resources

Sheenie Ambardar, MD, Narcissistic Personality Disorder, MedScape, May 16, 2018

4 Don Miguel Ruiz Quotes Leaders Must Learn

In this post, we discuss 4 Don Miguel Ruiz quotes from “The Four Agreements” that can make you a more balanced, thoughtful leader.
— Read on getlighthouse.com/blog/don-miguel-ruiz-quotes-four-agreements/

Boundaries

Anxiety Disorders Typically Caused by Exposure to Narcissistic Abuse

Anxiety Disorders Typically Caused by Exposure to Narcissistic Abuse

By admin –

Overt abuse techniques commonly used on preferred scapegoat targets by Cluster B people tend to cause physical health issues for victims of people who are socially aggressive, violent, and foster a complex atmosphere of Ambient Abuse in any social environment they have the opportunity to influence.

The most common targets for social abuse are highly sensitive and emotionally intelligent people who are by nature prone to behaving like humanists. People who are of lesser social means (meaning less socially powerful or influential) are also likely targets, too.

If you live in a home where abuse is prevalent, expect your health to decline and your self-conception to suffer. Being told all the time YOU are the problem for reacting to abuse in ways that are actually emotionally intelligent and PHYSICALLY appropriate tends to cause victim self-identity to suffer.

If you feel like you are unsure whether you over-react to abuse or you are justified in being upset when you are lied to, conned by a love fraud, are cheated on, are beaten or sexually assaulted, threatened with murder, etcetera… your mind and body are already experiencing symptoms of extreme C-PTSD.

Chances are you are likely to be developing a  form of Stockholm Syndrome based on trauma bonding with your Abuser.  When and if a trauma bond forms, the biology of the human form does a couple of things.

First of all — if you are healthy and sane, you will tend to trust your own eyes and ears as well as sanity. If you catch a partner cheating, for instance, but they blame YOU? Or an Enabler tries to convince you that your abuser loves you in their own way? Or they tell you that physical assault is for your own good?

Seriously — if you believe them you are already likely to be living with adrenal fatigue and heightened forms of pervasive social anxiety soon.

The following list of anxiety disorder types was compiled by the Mayo Clinic. The healthcare organization describes many of the most common conditions as follows

• Agoraphobia (ag-uh-ruh-FOE-be-uh) is a type of anxiety disorder in which you fear and often avoid places or situations that might cause you to panic and make you feel trapped, helpless or embarrassed.

• Anxiety disorder due to a medical condition includes symptoms of intense anxiety or panic that are directly caused by a physical health problem.

• Generalized anxiety disorder includes persistent and excessive anxiety and worry about activities or events — even ordinary, routine issues. The worry is out of proportion to the actual circumstance, is difficult to control and affects how you feel physically. It often occurs along with other anxiety disorders or depression.

• Panic disorder involves repeated episodes of sudden feelings of intense anxiety and fear or terror that reach a peak within minutes (panic attacks). You may have feelings of impending doom, shortness of breath, chest pain, or a rapid, fluttering or pounding heart (heart palpitations). These panic attacks may lead to worrying about them happening again or avoiding situations in which they’ve occurred.

• Selective mutism is a consistent failure of children to speak in certain situations, such as school, even when they can speak in other situations, such as at home with close family members. This can interfere with school, work and social functioning.

• Separation anxiety disorder is a childhood disorder characterized by anxiety that’s excessive for the child’s developmental level and related to separation from parents or others who have parental roles.

• Social anxiety disorder (social phobia) involves high levels of anxiety, fear and avoidance of social situations due to feelings of embarrassment, self-consciousness and concern about being judged or viewed negatively by others.

• Specific phobias are characterized by major anxiety when you’re exposed to a specific object or situation and a desire to avoid it. Phobias provoke panic attacks in some people.

• Substance-induced anxiety disorder is characterized by symptoms of intense anxiety or panic that are a direct result of abusing drugs, taking medications, being exposed to a toxic substance or withdrawal from drugs.

• Other specified anxiety disorder and unspecified anxiety disorder are terms for anxiety or phobias that don’t meet the exact criteria for any other anxiety disorders but are significant enough to be distressing and disruptive.

Folks who actively abuse and enable other abusers love telling their abuse victims that they are somehow socially, emotionally, and intellectually deficient. They are huge fans of abusing the crap out of their target, then when caught or confronted about their behavior choices they love nothing more than playing the victim.

The more extreme the personality disorder the more likely social predators are to enjoy harming or humiliating and dominating other people.

Not only do they expect their willing Narcissistic Supply Sources to consistently play SUB-servant, they wholeheartedly expect and demand total obedience from any preferred scapegoat they like to claim ownership of and to toy with psychologically and emotionally on a regular basis.

People who get trapped* in the CYCLE OF NARCISSISTIC ABUSE tend to know something is not right with the claims the Cluster B person makes, but unless they are well educated about things like how to spot the warning signs of a Cluster B pack or egocentric Abuser, love fraud tactics, and are made aware of verbal abuse and mind control tactics, predators make incredible logical fallacy statements and appeals to emotion that sound — at least plausible — to an unaware listener.

If a target makes the mistake of reverse projecting and presumes that all human beings — INCLUDING CLUSTER B PEOPLE AND VERTICAL THINKERS — have the same core values as roughly 75-80% of the global human population, that is the instant chaos manufactures or pot stirrers have the ability to start mind assaulting trouble.

People who are exposed to physical abuse, sexual assault, verbal assaults of a poignant or pervasive nature, financial abuse, social persecution, and the word choices of dehumanizers seeking to sadistically or callously persecute tend to develop extreme social anxiety, pervasive stress related illnesses, and extreme confusion over knowing they are good folks in their heart and mind but hear constant ad hominem attacks against themselves by bullies and manipulators all the time.

If you are being harassed, bullied, messed with at work, are being picked on by family members who display Cluster B behaviors, an ex has done some crappy thing like tried to smear campaign, or worse…

Or you are feeling the literal weight of an angry and hostile narcissistic led faction world…

You are not alone in suspecting being around mean people can damage your health. Verbal assault can lead directly to neurological damage to the part of the brain that houses complex emotional reasoning centers and the body fatigues and organ function is medically depleted by the fear-induced surge of toxic adrenal chemicals.

Seriously.

Life-threatening illness tends to develop in humans who feel TRAPPED by an Abuser (unable to flee) or who are held hostage by toxic thinkers seeking to silence and oppress their scapegoats, targets, and control the fear-based psychology of their toys as well as any collateral damage victims.

[Abusers tend to rage at anyone who offers one of their preferred scapegoat targets humanitarian aid or social support. Doing so tends to produce the effect of socially isolating their targeted victim while humiliating and truly frightening them further when and if people passively choose to stay out of it or to enable, leaving the target even more vulnerable to further pervasive overt (as well as extreme covert) situational abuse. ]

The more healthcare workers start to realize if a patient presents with stress illness and psychiatric symptoms that the patient is more than likely showing physical signs of complex psychological and emotional duress more than likely being caused by ongoing exposure to Narcissistic Abuse or an Ambient Abuse promoting environment, the sooner human beings of neurotypical nature are likely to be able to end the healthcare crisis beginning to plague most modern nations.

SOURCE: http://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/anxiety/symptoms-causes/dxc-20168124