Tag Archives: love

Love

Above all else we must have love. Love for the father, others, and ourselves. In order to follow God’s commands and bear the fruit of the spirit, we must pursue His heart which is love. In doing this the fruit of the spirit will grow in us. These fruits are “love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control.” (Galatians 5:22)

Above all else we must have love. Love for the father, others, and ourselves. In order to follow God’s commands and bear the fruit of the spirit, we must pursue His heart which is love. In doing this the fruit of the spirit will grow in us. These fruits are “love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control.” (Galatians 5:22)

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Unconditional Love

Jesus loves me unconditionally. Therefore, I have not earned His love nor could I earn His love. I cannot be separated from His love.

When I obey Him, God will bless me. When I disobey Him, there will be consequences. Jesus may not like my behavior, but He always loves me.

Because I have experienced God’s love, I know that I am lovable. I know there are people who could love me too. Therefore, I am able to trust people who love me. I am confident in my worth based on the love of Jesus.

from Beauty for Ashes by Joyce Meyer

What Matters Most in Your Life

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What Comes First in Your Life?

Do you  value love most? God is love. By putting God first, everything else will fall into place. We will best love and support ourselves, our family and our friends. By choosing love, we put God first. He is a light in the darkness, our helper in the storm. If we seek Him first, He will help us and show us how to love others and how to take care of ourselves.

God loves us more than we can imagine and only wants the best for us. God does not cause bad things to happen. We live in a lost and broken world plagued with darkness. The good news is that light has overcome the darkness. This is not our home. and as the song says, “We are just taking the long way home”  (Steven Curtis Chapman-lyrics) There is something better. God sees the whole story beginning to end and He has defeated death. We only need to have faith. We can never earn His love. We are all broken in our own way. No one is perfect and God doesn’t expect us to be.

However, He knows our heart and true motives. If we honestly pursue God first and want His will for our lives, He will use all things for good. That terrible heartache, health problem, broken relationship, addiction, or other struggle is nothing compared to the power of God. In order to use that power to be an overcomer, we must have faith and rely on God’s strength to pull us through. We will never make it on our own.

I am going though a really hard time right now. After a while with stable moods, my bipolar disorder  is causing major issues in my life. My previously helpful medication and treatment plan have not worked to push this mania away. It crept up over a year ago. There have been ups and downs, but for the most part I have been hypomanic. Stress and other triggers cause it to flare up. This is the case these last few weeks. I am battling anxiety, struggling to sleep, my mind is scattered, memory disabled, and thoughts are constantly racing.  Although I try to contain them, my words keep spilling out. I try to do what I know works. I set A schedule, try and get enough sleep, prioritize tasks, spend time with God, and avoid triggers such as caffine. If I suddenly get the urge to organize everything, I need to step back and think about my thinking. Why do I suddenly have a desire to do the chores I usually put off because I dislike them so much?

I know I need to put God first. They only way for me to get better is to rely on Him. He loves me and wants what is best for me. When my mind is scattered and I struggle to make good choices. God leads me along the right path and carries me when I am too week to walk.

God also helps me through others. My family loves and supports me. I try to listen to their advice and accept their help. Normally, I try  to do everything myself. Obviously that has not worked. I need to let go of my pride and take care of myself. I know I will come through this and be better for it. My pain serves A purpose and I will persevere!

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How Do We Put God

First, ask God to help you put him, ask him to help you see what to do, and to guide your steps

Have faith that God keep His promises. You are loved more than you know. You are forgiven through grace. Trust that He wants what is best for you and that if you rely on Him, you will overcome your struggles and find true joy.

Eliminating obstacles such as, desires for fortune and fame, work overload, addiction, or other temptations by confessing them to God.

In place of sin, struggle, and heartache, we are to rely fully on Christ. We do this by being accountable to a Godly friend, spending time in God’s Word and prayer every day, attending and becoming involved with church worship regularly, and listening to Godly music and messages are a few ways to put on Christ. A little bit of sin can add up to making provision for the flesh, so putting on Christ will add up to making provision for the Holy Spirit.

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Prayer: You are Holy, Lord. Thank you for the Blood of Jesus to wash us and cleanse us from sin. As a born again believer I ask You to help me to put off these things that hinder my life from being completely surrendered to You and show me the ways to put on Christ so that I may please You. Amen.

“Long Way Home”
by Steven Curtis Chapman | from the album re:creation

I set out on a great adventure
The day my Father started leading me home
Said theres gonna be mountians to climb
And valleys were gonna go through

But I had no way of knowing
Just how hard this journey could be
Cause the mountians are steeper
And the valleys are deeper than I ever would had dreamed

But I know were gonna make it
And I know were gonna get there soon
And I know sometimes it seems like, were going the wrong way
But its just the long way home

Some rocks on my shoes
Fears I wish I could lose
That make the mountians so hard to climb
And my heart gets so heavy with the weight of the world sometimes

There’s a bag of regrets,
Should’ve beens, and not yets
That keep on dragging around
And I can hardly wait till the day I get to lay them all down

I know that day is coming
I know its gonna be here soon
I won’t turn back even if the whole world says I’m going the wrong way
Cause its just the long way home

When we cant take another step
The Father will pick us up and carry us in His arms
And even on the best days, He says to remember were not home yet
So don’t get too comfortable
Cause we are just pilgrams passing through

I know that day is coming
I know were gonna be there soon
I keep on singing and believing
What all of my songs say

Cause our God has made a promise
And I know everything He says is true
He promised He would never ever leave us
He’s gonna lead us
He’ll lead us home

Every single step of the long way home
So keep on, were gonna make it
Were just taking the long way home
So keep on, were gonna make it
I know, were gonna make it
Its just the long way home

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Persistence

I will not give up. I know I can get better; not in my strength, but through God’s strength. He is my rock and my foundation. How awesome is it that the creator of the universe loves me and cares about me more than any human can imagine. He gave me life through His son Jesus.

Jesus is my best friend. We walk together and talk together. He knows me deeper than anyone else. He knows all about my past and the worst parts of me. Yet, He still loves me and wants a relationship with me. He is there for me through every trial and I am eternally grateful. Thank you God for your unending love and grace.

How Should We Respond to Criticism

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I want my words to be life giving, to build up others. Because of our sinful nature, we can often be critical. In our ignorance we can think we are right and doing the right thing to offer our critical opinion. We need to guard our hearts against being opinionated. We can pick apart the way people do things differently than us.

Overcoming a Sensitive Spirit to Criticism

We have to become deeply assured of who we are in Christ. Being confident in our calling will keep us from being derailed by criticism. We should not be driven by praise. Therefore, don’t let compliments go to your head or criticism go to your heart.

One way to respond to critical people is to respond carefully, not rashly or instinctively.

A thoughtful answer can give a critical person a different perspective. If you wait to send that text or throw back a defensive comment, then you can think about your response. This allows you to act out of wisdom.

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Often, the criticism isn’t about you. Most angry people are actually hurting. They have a past hurt or something about themselves they don’t like.

Forgive in real time, don’t wait months or years to forgive. It will steal your joy and make it hard to love others. Resist the urge to defend yourself or explain why it is not fair. If we let the Spirit help us we can get above it.

Constructive Criticism

Accepting constructive criticism can help us be better. If there are not several things you have changed in the last year because of constructive criticism, then you are missing out on the opportunity for growth.

Are You Vitamin L (Love) Deficient? 10 Steps to Solve It

Are You Vitamin L (Love) Deficient? 10 Steps to Solve It

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Sadly, illnesses caused by low or absent levels of essential nutrients, minerals and vitamin are pervasive in the world in which we live. Such deficiencies more negatively impact children than adults, as a child’s future physiological and neurological health requires a steady stream of what their body and brains need most. Anemia, tooth decay and Rickets are just a few of the medical problems connected to childhood mineral and vitamin deficiency. To illustrate this dilemma, anemia, which is caused by an iron deficiency, impacts two billion people worldwide, while 70% of American children aren’t getting enough vitamin D (CNN 2015).

Vitamin L — Vitamin Love
An “emotional vitamin” is a metaphor for interpersonal and emotional “sustenance” that is given to children by their parents in order to promote healthy psychological and social development. The most important of all the metaphorical emotional vitamins is “vitamin L” or “vitamin love.” Just like actual vitamins, say C or D, vitamin love is critically important to a child’s developmental needs. Or, in other words, if parents or caretakers do not provide sufficient, consistent and predictable levels of emotional nurturing, mental health problems in adulthood will surely occur. There is no way around this stark but important fact.

On a global basis, vitamin L deficiency is as real and pervasive as other serious real vitamin deficiencies. As with complications from iron or a vitamin D deficiency, vitamin L deficiency manifests itself in adulthood when it is too late to correct the problem. Rickets, for example, if untreated in childhood, will result in permanent bone or skeletal malformation. Similarly, when vitamin L is lacking or absent in childhood, harmful psychological, social and even physiological consequences are likely to occur, some of which may be difficult to treat in adulthood. According to my book, “The Human Magnet Syndrome“ (2013), when unconditional love/nurturing is absent in infancy and early childhood, adult mental health and interpersonal disorders will probably occur, i.e., codependency and pathological narcissism (Rosenberg, 2013).

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A glaring example of a vitamin L deficiency was observed in Romanian children who were raised in stark and emotionally depriving orphanages. According to numerous studies (Tottenham, 2013), many Romanian orphans suffered adult brain dysfunction and mental health disorders due to a lack of nurturing, attention and stimulation in the infant and toddler years. The dire consequences of such deprivation included neurological or brain dysfunction, a dramatic reduction in brain size and language, intellectual and cognitive impairment. In addition, higher incidents of conduct disorder and Antisocial Personality Disorder were also demonstrated.

Erik Erikson Knew about Vitamin L Deficiency
Erik Erikson, a world renowned developmental psychologist and personality theorist, created a psychological and social (psychosocial) developmental theory that was based upon eight distinct developmental stages, each with two possible outcomes — success or failure. He theorized that if a child was to mature into a psychologically healthy adult, they would have to been cared for and emotionally nurtured in a manner that facilitated an active and passive completion of each stage.

Healthy parent-child attachment is absolutely essential for successful completion of the first five of Erikson’s stages. Without it, the child will remain frozen in a specific stage, which will deprive them of the skill development necessary to proceed with the following psychosocial stages. Erikson and the legions of followers of his theory maintain that children who are frozen within a stage are psychosocially underdeveloped in adulthood. In other words, these children will likely develop mental health and interpersonal problems in adulthood. Vitamin L is, therefore, the key developmental constituent that facilitates healthy childhood psychosocial development.

A little like the unfolding of a rose bud, each petal opens up at a certain time, in a certain order, which nature, through its genetics, has determined. If we interfere in the natural order of development by pulling a petal forward prematurely or out of order, we ruin the development of the entire flower. (G. Boeree, 2006)

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Vitamin L Deficiency and Attachment Trauma
Vitamin L Deficiency Disorder is a metaphorical disorder caused by a lack of emotional, physical and environmental nurturing during critical developmental stages of childhood, especially during the first four years of life. Because of the fragile nature of an infant’s/child’s rapidly developing brain, any developmental disruption or harm to it will result in a lifelong template for pathological thoughts, feelings, behavior and/or a variety of mental health disorders.

There is no doubt that Vitamin L and parent-child attachment are intricately connected — both are necessary for adult mental and relational health.

“Attachment, the emotional bond formed between an infant and its primary caretaker, profoundly influences both the structure and function of the developing infant’s brain. Failed attachment, whether caused by abuse, neglect or emotional unavailability on the part of the caretaker, can negatively impact brain structure and function, causing developmental or relational trauma. Early-life trauma affects future self-esteem, social awareness, ability to learn and physical health (Trauma, Attachment, and Stress Disorders, 2015).”

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Sustained neglect, deprivation or abuse of a child by a pathologically narcissistic caregiver detrimentally affects the parent-child attachment process. In other words, Vitamin L Deficiency Disorder or attachment trauma is caused by the lack of or impaired attachment between a child and his parents. Such trauma is often perpetrated unconsciously and reflexively by a pathologically narcissistic parent (Rosenberg, 2013). These parents are often oblivious to the harm they caused because of a lack of insight and empathy for others, especially for their children. Moreover, they often parent their child in the same manner in which they were raised by their own narcissistic parent. Just as Erik Erikson theorized, such trauma (developmental breakdown) sets the child up for adult mental health and relational problems.

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Attachment trauma and vitamin L deficiency is difficult to identify in adulthood as it is the basis for adult personal and relational problems, not the actual problem. Because some forms of maltreatment or neglect do not always result in vitamin love deficiency or attachment trauma, it is necessary to consider the amorphous nature of the problem. Although neglect, deprivation and/or abuse sets the stage for attachment trauma, such maltreatment doesn’t always cause it. A child’s unique personality type, psychological strengths or weakness, level of resiliency and other biological and personality attributes will either deepen or mitigate (buffer) the effects of attachment trauma.

Only with an understanding of Vitamin L Deficiency Disorder can one proceed with the appropriate treatment of it. It is this author’s opinion that vitamin love deficiency can be successfully treated with trauma-based psychotherapy treatment strategies.

The following are 10 recommendations to solve or heal Vitamin L Deficiency:

Ten Steps to Reverse Vitamin L Deficiency
1. Seek psychotherapy that can address and resolve attachment trauma.
2. Seek help with your codependency or narcissism, which is a secondary effect of of the deeper attachment trauma wounds.
3. Create clear boundaries and expectations with those who seek to deprive you of vitamin L.
4. When possible, eliminate or pull back from relationships that do not have vitamin L reciprocity.
5. Create support systems when disengaging or setting boundaries with those who won’t give you vitamin L
6. Get daily doses of Vitamin L by surrounding yourself with loved ones who take part in empowering, affirming and personally connective relationships.
7. Seek healthy relationships where there is a fair distribution of love, respect and caring
8. Seek support and guidance though 12-Step groups, namely Codependency Anonymous (CODA) or Adult Children of Alcoholics (ACA).
9. Prepare for pathological levels of loneliness, a major withdrawal symptom of codependency (Rosenberg, 2015).
10. Stop the generational pattern of Vitamin L Deficiency Disorder. Love, respect and care for your child in a way that your parents did not do for you.

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Breathe

Gently breathe in God’s spirit, that spirit which, if not barred out by selfishness, will enable you to do good works. This means rather that God will be enabled to do good works through you. You can become a channel for God’s spirit to flow through you and into the lives of others. The works that you can do will only be limited by your spiritual development. Let your spirit be in harmony with God’s spirit and there is no limit to what you can do in the realm of human relationships.

Prayer for the Day

I pray that I may become a channel for God’s spirit. I pray that God’s spirit may flow through me into the lives of others.

Relax, “Let Go & Let God”, Everything Will Work Out for Your

God has a purpose for your pain, a reason for your struggle and a reward for your Faithfulness. Don’t give up! God’s word teaches us to Cast our care upon the Lord. “Casting all your care upon him; for he careth for you.” [1 Peter 5:7]

I realize that learning to “let go” and “let God” is not as easy as it sounds, however, the bible reassures us to …”Cast your cares on the Lord and he will sustain you; he will never let the righteous fall.” [Psalm 55:22]

EXAMPLE:

Let’s consider Job’s trials. Job said: “Though he slay me, yet will I trust in him: but I will maintain mine own ways before him.” [Job 13:15]

QUESTION:

I pose this question to you: If you’re in constant turmoil and worrying, why do you pray? Is it just something you do because it’s tradition, or, do you truly seek God for peace and understanding?

1). Forming a “real” relationship with God provides a sense of security, revelation knowledge and mostly, “a peace that surpasseth all understanding.”

2.)The Bible says to, “Delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart.” [Psalm 37:4] What we should understand mostly from this passage is the fact that there is a process of learning just how to “delight yourself in God.”

ASK THE HOLY SPIRIT TO HELP YOU

As you study God’s Word, you will learn to “Let Go & Let God!” Pray and sincerely ask the Holy Spirit to order your footsteps as you prepare to study God’s Word daily.

“For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, saith the LORD, thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you an expected end.” [Jeremiah 29:11]