Two Days

July has been a rough month for me with few good days and no pull free days until yesterday. When I go a long time without any good days I start to feel overwhelmed like the trich monster is taking over. I worry that my progress is going to be ruined and I’ll be left worse off than ever. It’s especially discouraging because I was using all my strategies that had been helping they don’t seem to be helping anymore.

Through it all I tried to stay positive and remind myself to be consistent. Logically I know the really bad times always end and it is followed by a period of less or no pulling. My life is a roller coaster of ups and downs influenced by my pulling and cycles of depression and mania caused by my bipolar disorder.

The progress is just as much about attitude as the actual amount of pulling. My outlook is way better, but I still have times when I get down on myself. Its a process and I’m relying on God to strengthen my spirit and to keep my eyes on what really matters. At the end of my life am I going think back and wish I hadn’t pulled or look back on how I lived and loved those close to me. I hope to live a life that reflects God’s love and gives hope to others. I want to make a difference in the lives of those around me. I am blessed with a wonderful family and that is what matters most, not how much hair I do or don’t have.

The Curly Girl Method

I have curly, frizzy, dry, puffy hair that drives me nuts. I have tried so many products to try and tame my hair and give me nice curls. I have also damaged my hair with hair dye and straightening. All of this damage and kinky hair drives me nuts. It’s one factor that leads to my pulling.

Well I’ve been feeling especially bad about my hair lately as my bald patches are growing and have been increasingly hard to hide. Also they make the summer months difficult as I try to avoid sunburn on my scalp (that is a terrible experience for anyone, but especially so for a trichster).

After hearing about the ‘curly girl method’ from various sources, I decided to give it a try.  I’m hoping to revive my curls and at the same time hopefully decrease my urge to pull or at least help me like something about my hair.

To get started I went on YouTube and Pinterest and searched  the curly girl method. I learned that it all started with a book titled Curly Girl: The Handbook by Lorainne Massey. I got the kindle version and have been reading it. I’ve skipped around a bit as I was eager to get started and figured I could learn the finer points as I go.

Some videos I found on YouTube were especially helpful. They are posted by waterlily716. The link below is a video that gives a great overview and helped me get started.

How to Manage Curly Hair: The Curly Girl Method

My Hair: Day 1 of curly girl method

My daughter’s hair: Day 1 (I love her curls!)

The Method Every Naturally Curly Head Should Be Using

Explains the curly girl method and why every naturally curly head should use it.


Hello My Curlies;

It’s been awhile since I did a post for my Curlies and I apologize if any of you may feel slighted. I’m a natural head forever and we are on this quest together for the perfect curl, the best product, and the healthiest hair that we can obtain, so I will ALWAYS do posts about natural hair.

Today’s topic up for discussion is a very popular technique used by many natural hair divas: THE CURLY GIRL METHOD also known as  (the no-poo). The Curly Girl Method was developed by Lorraine Massey  and she shared it with the world in her book, Curly Girl: The Handbook. Purchase the book here.  In the book she acknowledges our problems like frizz and dryness and she provides a lot of helpful advice about how to care for our hair.

The Basic Premise 

1. Curly hair, because of its construction, is…

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How To: The Curly Girl Method

The basics of the curly girl method


The curly girl method was designed by and for curly haired girls who suffer from dry and frizzy hair. It’s aim is to moisturise the hair and cleanse it without stripping the hair during the washing process. The method, based on the Curly Girl book by Lorraine Massey, shows you how to help your hair retain it’s moisture whilst also preventing damage.

1. Shampoo: Now of course we don’t want to strip the hair of essential natural oils but before we start the method we need to remove any silicones that may be coating the hair. A shampoo is necessary to remove any non water soluble products from your hair that you may have used. After this step you won’t need to shampoo your hair as the method doesn’t require it.

2. Wash with conditioner (silicone free): rub your scalp in a circular motion as you wash it to lift…

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Curly Hair Resources

Review of 3 great websites for info on curly hair and the curly girl method, my favorite is naturally curly

the diary of a curly girl

How many hours have you spent researching curly hair, striving and straining to find an answer to your burning lock-related question? I can almost guarantee that I’ve doubled it. Although I do enjoy touting myself as something of a curly hair zen master, it wasn’t always that way, and I can’t always give all the information, no matter how hard I may try (different hair types! Different needs! Different methods!). That’s why I’ve compiled this list of resources that I found (and still find!) helpful for people with a variety of curls. Celebrate them all!

Black Girl with Long Hair – seriously one of the most helpful resources in terms of sealants and moisturizers. This website tends to focus more on tighter coils, known as type 3B and above (for point of reference: my curls are 3B/3C mix). They also have style icons matching a variety of hair styles, making…

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What’s the Deal With Silicones?

I just started the curly girl method. This article talks about the problems with silicone and why they are not used in the curly girl method.

the diary of a curly girl

I was recently reviewing a product for Curls Understood when, as I was scouring the ingredient list before putting it into my hair, I realized that it had silicones (a silicone ingredient is basically anything on the list that ends in ‘cone’). My initial reaction, strongly influenced by being a fairly devout Curly Girl for so long, was “Blech!” Although for years I used silicones on my hair with reckless abandon, for over two years now I have abstained from putting anything silicone-esque on my hair in the fear that it will suddenly warp it back into the untameable mess it once was (and oh, my friends, what a mess!). Instead of my typical knee-jerk reaction, however (and because someone had kindly sent me a wonderful, free product that was free from animal testing and featured many organic ingredients), I decided to put in the time to do some research…

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May & June

I am behind on posting my progress, but at least I have been charting.  This is the longest I have every diligently tallied my pulling.  In the past, I always gave up after a couple months, usually when my pulling got worse and I couldn’t face the numbers.  I have learned that charting increases my awareness of my pulling and my triggers.  I have made a goal to chart continually, as I believe this is a major factor in my recovery.

My goal for May was to have more good days than I did in March.  My March totals were 17 good days and 14 bad day.  I met my goal!  This feels great, especially after not meeting my goal for April.  Looking at June, I did not do as well.  With a newborn, sleep deprivation, and use of caffeine I can see why I did worse.  I know these circumstances are only temporary, so I am going to continue to do my best.  I know things will improve once I get more sleep and go back to faithfully following the John Kender Diet.

May’s monthly totals:
Score 0 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10
# of Days 1 2 2 18 1 3 4 0 0 0 0
Good = 23 Ok = 8 Bad = 0

June’s monthly totals:
Score 0 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10
# of Days 0 1 0 11 5 4 3 4 2 0 0
Good = 12 Ok = 12 Bad = 6

I made the call

Getting the courage to go back to the salon after a bad experience is impressive. This shows that there can be good experiences, and it pays off to face your fears.

Strands of Sanity

My counselor called me back and gave me Audrey’s number. It took a few days, but I made the call.

I finally over came my fear of calling a complete stranger, and a hair stylist to boot, and telling her about having this disorder and the possibility of me getting hair extensions.

I know that if I had a way to go back and listen to that call I would hear my voice shaking. Of course I thought of everything I would say and what order I’d say it in, etc. But when I heard her voice on the other end my brain just went to mush.

Surprisingly, she had heard of people pulling their hair out, she said they learn about that stuff when they go to school to become hair dressers, she just did not know what it was called.

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Salon nightmare and hair extensions

The anxiety over going to the salon when you have trich can be overwhelming. Having a negative experience like this makes it that much harder to go back.

Strands of Sanity

In many of my meetings with the gal who prescribes me my meds about how much I would love to have long hair again. She’s a sweet gal and I have been seeing her long enough that I am more comfortable with her, enough so that I was able to admit how painful and life-altering having this disorder is.

I am going to be a bridesmaid at the end of July and I can’t imagine having someone try to style my few strands of hair and then going in front of all those people looking like this.

She suggested that I get hair extensions. The thought of going to a salon terrifies me for obvious reasons, but I also had a terrible experience a few years ago. In 2005 as my wedding was coming up I started thinking of the possibility of having my hair, what little of it is/was…

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